The Raven
by amethystblossom
Summary: AU. "I am a whore. That's nothing, worse than nothing. I don't feel anything for him and that's the way it should be."
1. Chapter 1

**The Raven-1**

**Summery- AU. Ichigo has come back to Japan after studying in the West for 5 years. The last thing he expected was to be provoked by a raven haired beauty that crosses his path in an old book shop.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, rights to Kubo Tite. Neither do I own Seinen Horeyasuku koi narigatashi [Doujinshi KHR] by Yoneda Kou where I got the idea from for this story.**

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><p><strong>1878<strong>

**Japan**

**Meiji Era**

Moonlight filtered into the room, spilling it's heavenly light onto the floor just above my head. The constant thrusting of the man on top of me allowed the top of my head to grace the light every time he pushed into me. It was a beautiful night, from my view of the window; the moon was hanging ominously low and the stars littered the sky like a billion sparkling marbles. I pushed a stray hair that was tickling my cheek out of my face just as the man on top of me came with a grunted cry. After a few seconds of panted breath he let out a loud sigh and pulls out of me. I let my legs fall from their raise position, the disgust of what I had done enveloping me like a suffocating blanket as it always did after I had been fucked. However, through time (and practice), I had somehow overpowered my self-disgust and after a few seconds it fell numb into my conscious. I hear the rustle of clothes as the man pulls his pants up and zips them. Without a word, he leaves the room to pay Yoruichi sitting at the front desk for a few hours of fuck. I imagine him then walking home to where his middle-aged wife would be waiting for him.

I push myself up, my kimono falling down my shoulders, and pull myself to lie against the wall. His juices leak from inside me, dripping down my thigh. It's uncomfortable, but I ignore it and just sit with my back to the wall, not moving for a few moments. I turn my head to the window beside me, the bars of the window creating an illusion of imprisonment. The night is quiet except for the occasional shouts in a bar a few houses away from the whore-house, as I liked to call it. White jasmines bloom a little ways from my window. This is why I had chosen this room. I didn't want any of the other larger rooms on the middle floor where the middle-class whores were. I wanted to see this, to smell this. The jasmines were in full bloom and their scent fills my senses. I close my eyes and relish in the aroma. From my view here, I could also see the little boy who came to stand across the street everyday to sell rotten peaches to passer-by's early every morning. He had told me his mother was sick and his father was doing everything he could to pay for her medicine to get her better. Tears had almost sprung to my eyes and I gave him the little change of money I had. Everything else I had belonged to Aizen-sama, the owner of this fine establishment, until I had repaid him.

I would see the house window opposite me where a young women would play with her year old baby; cooeing at it and breast-feeding it. She had seen me once and contrary to what I thought would happen, the usual scrawl and look of disgust before looking away, she smiled at me. Not those smiles that you give people for proprieties sake, a small smile with a hint of pity and sadness in her eyes. I had looked away before I could start feeling anything in my numb heart.

Now, as I looked through the jasmine trees and across tree-tops I heard the sound of slamming doors and shouts and brawls from the bar down the road. I sigh deeply and get up to wash the mans stink away.

* * *

><p>I knew I should have stayed home.<p>

"Come on, Ichigo, where's your sense of fun?"

I glare at my teal-haired comrade as he swings another drink into his mouth, a girl wrapped around his body at one side, giggling manically at his foolishness.

"Grimmjow, when you said you would take me out to celebrate my coming back from America, I didn't think you would take me to a cheap bar and make me watch you whore around."

He slams the drink down and uses the back of his hands to wipe the trails of sake that had spilled onto his chin. He scrawls at me and narrows his eyes dangerously.

"You got a problem with me whoring around?"

I roll my eyes at him and let out a frustrated breath. Grimmjow was obviously drunk, just another reason for him to pick a fight he's been dying for. I just wanted to leave before he did something really stupid, as he always did when he was intoxicated.

"I'm leaving," I tell him, getting up from my chair and discarding my half-full glass of sake on the table. Grimmjow grabs my arm, pulling me back.

"Oi, oi, just relax will ya? Here, how about I buy you a night with a girls here. You choose. Any girl."

He sits down beside me, smiling good-naturedly, like he had blessed me with the worlds biggest favour. The girl was still attached to him, tipsy as hell. I didn't even look around. Don't even grace him with a fucking glare.

"I gotta get home," I say, knowing I would only get more angry at him by lingering.

"Oh come on man. Here, how about her?"

With that, Grimmjow pushes the girl who was wrapped around his bicep onto me. I grab her shoulder before she falls flat on her face as a reflex and straighten her. She giggles and pushes her breasts against my arm.

'How about it pretty boy?' she asks, her voice gargled. I move her away from me and get up, slightly disgusted as an exposed breast is threatening to fall out of her pink kimono.

"No thanks."

She crosses her arms across her chest, pouting. Her demeanour switching from drunk and stupid to drunk and pissed in seconds. "Whatever fag."

Anger stirs inside me but I know she was only saying that to rile me up. I walk away from her, she turns around to grab me but what she didn't see is the man who was passing ahead of her, chasing after a women who was ignoring him. I turn back just in time to see her accidentally spill the contents of his drink all over his clothes. She gasps while his mouth hangs open. He turns to her and without warning, slaps her across the face. She falls back with a loud thud.

"You fucking whore. This suit costs 100 times more than your worthless piece of ass."

I walk to where he is, tap him on the shoulder and when he looks back, proceed to put his fucking lights out. He falls to the floor and I step over him without a second thought, avoiding the blood that had spilt from his nose. The girl is on the floor, her lip bleeding, her eyes wide as she stares at the man I just punched. I reach my hand to her.

"You alright?"

She stares at me for a second, tears that had welled up made her eyes wide with fear and innocence. Just someone trying to live through the hardships of life, not a prostitute who was forced to smile when groped and open her legs for some spare change. She nods and a tear slips her cheek as she grabs my hands in her small ones. I notice her shivering and lead her to a chair where Grimmjow was. He was looking all this with wide eyes, his mouth open. I sit her down and take out a handkerchief from my pocket to wipe at the blood. Her eyes are wide and teary as her bottom lips trembles. She was just a girl, I noticed. A little older than Yuzu and Karin.

"Hey, hey, you know the rules Grimmjow. You fight, you get out."

Grimmjow turns with a wide smirk to the overweight man behind the bar wearing an apron and jumps down his chair.

"Natürlich, Drecksau," he slurrs to the manager of the Inn. The fat man eyes him suspiciously, ignorant to what the german had said to him in his native tongue. I snort at Grimmjow's childish words, having learned most of the language from him seeing as we had grown up together. I hand the girl the handkerchief and turn around to leave, nodding at her a last time.

Outside, Grimmjow lets out a groan as he stretches his muscles.

'Ah, that was a good show. Glad you grew some balls when you were gone.'

"Can't say the same about you."

"What?"

"All you did was watch."

He smirks at me. "I was just enjoying the show."

"Fuck you."

"Oh, I would."

"Just shut up."

Quiet.

"So how was America?"

I let out a sigh, reprimanding myself to think Grimmjow could follow such simple orders as to be quiet. I shrug as an answer to his question. "It was ok."

"I still don't understand why you came back," he says, turning away, looking towards the road, "I mean, you were at the top of your class in medical school and you still came back to this little shit city, for what?"

"I told you, my old man's getting…older. I have to take care of my family."

He turns to look at me in silence before turning back when he sees my serious expression. We walk down the street towards our houses. The road separates and we both take our respective ways.

"I'll see you tomorrow," I say, heading to the right side of the two pathways.

"Yeah, don't have any wet dreams about me."

"Keep telling yourself that asshole."

He turns his back to me chuckling and waves a hand at me without looking back. I turn away and head home.

* * *

><p>"Nee-sama, hurry up please."<p>

"I'm coming Yuzu, just wait a second."

I finish putting on my shoes and step out of the house, my sisters already down the street. I jog a little ways to catch up to them. We walk a few steps when a yawn overtakes my mouth.

"Yuzu, do you have to wake me up so early just so you could hang out with Ururu?"

She turns and starts walking backwards, nodding at me enthusiastically. "I just haven't seen her for a while and I can't wait any longer. I'm sorry I had to wake you up so early though."

"Don't apologize to him, it's already midday. If he wanted a few extra hours of sleep he should've come back early from the bar," Karin remarks hotly.

My eyes widen, staring at my devil of a sister.

"Karin," I ask cautiously, "how the hell do you know where I was?"

She turns to me, her face in a permanent scrawl, much like mine was. "I could smell you in my sleep when you came in last night. You stank."

I glare at her as my cheeks heat at her apparent bluntness. She turns away and walks ahead of us. We reach Urahara Bookstore in a matter of minutes and both Yuzu and Karin go up the stairs located at the side of the store to head upstairs to the little girl's room. I start walking through the bookstore, trying to find something to occupy myself with. There was a large sign beside every aisle, written in large and bold writing that customer's weren't allowed to read while standing. I groaned at the managers cheap nature. Coincidently, I spots Urahara at the register, sleeping while leaning back against his chair, his ridiculous hat obscuring my view of his face. Not wanting to disturb him yet, knowing I would probably get a kick to the face, I turn into an aisle and pick at a random book in front of me. I open it and start reading the first page. Boring. I put it back and pick up another one. Another one. Then another. Ah, Shakespeare. I pull the book out and notice someone standing on the other side through the gap. Though I could only see the top of their head, deducing that it was a kid with that small height, I became curious as to what a child was doing in such a complex book aisle. I lean down and look through the gap. It was a girl. She held the book to her face and I could only see the ebony color of her hair and her think eye lashes.

"What's a little kid like you doing in the adult section?"

Her eyes look up at me. Amethyst. They were large and the most unique color I had ever seen. Round and surrounded by heavy lashes. She narrows them at me and looks back down at the book she's reading.

"What? Are you lost?" I start thinking the worst as I walk across the aisle to her side. I falter in my steps as I reach her. She wasn't a girl, but a women. A short women but there was no childish innocence or stubbiness in her figure. Just delicate curves over where her kimono wrapped around her. She didn't look at me as I came towards her.

"Sorry, my mistake. Your so short I thought you were a kid," I say, scratching the back of my head. This was awkward. She looks up from her book, a fake smile on her face and her eyes wide.

"And here I thought you were a giant pumpkin from my nightmares," she lets out a short chuckle with no humour then suddenly stops, her smile dropping into a frown and her eyes taking an angry sheen, "Silly me."

I glare at her, my signature scrawl taking place on my face. I would never admit it but when it came to the bright color of my hair, I got a little sensitive as to what people said. "Hey, watch your mouth."

Her eyes angry and her nose flaring slightly. "You insulted me."

"Truth hurts."

"I could say the same for you."

We glare at each other until we hear both hear Urahara mumble something. She turns away from me, going back to her book.

"Now, if you'll excuse me."

My anger flared inside me as I look at her composed and calm expression to Urahara. I let out a frustrated breath and walk past her to the store owner.

"Ichigo, long time no see. It's good to see you back."

I nod at him. Some of the anger from before leaving me. "Good to be back."

He nods at me. "How's the family?"

"They're fine. Yuzu and Karin came to visit Ururu so they dragged me here."

He pouted at me, wanting to look cute, but just ended up looking like a baboon. "What? You wouldn't have come otherwise."

"No."

"Ichigo, you're so mean."

I shrug at him. Feeling no sympathy for the man in front of me.

"Oh are you leaving?" Urahara asks, looking over my shoulder, his signature fan covering the bottom half of his face. I turn around to see the girl from earlier bow at Urahara and give me a glare before walking out the door.

"Good bye," she says.

I turn back to him. "Hey, doesn't the sign say you're not allowed to read in here?"

He nods, smiling at me. "Well you know me. They want a library they build a library. I have to pay my rent. Can't let nosy little brats read my books for free."

"That brat was reading them, and you saw her reading it but you didn't say anything."

His smile widens slightly, yet his eyes fall a little.

"I heard you got into a fight yesterday night."

I narrow my eyes at his avoidance on the subject. "Yeah. This bastard hit a girl."

"Tsk tsk."

"I was just returning the favor," I narrow my eyes on him. "How do you know where I was last night?"

Everybody seemed to know where I was last night. He flaps his fan against his face and laughs at me. "Don't expect any secrets in this town Ichigo."

He chuckles as Yuzu and Karin both come to me ready to leave, handing me a book Yuzu had decided to get. I paid for it and promise to visit again soon. My mind on the girl I had just met.

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><p><strong>(AN) I'm no expert on the German language and i apologize if i made a mistake with the sentence but i just googled the translation.**

**Natürlich-** of course

**Drecksau**- dirty pig


	2. Chapter 2

**The Raven-2**

It was the following week that I went to the bookstore, and that's when I saw her again. Same aisle. Reading the same book. She hadn't seen me yet so I walk up to her slowly and look past her shoulder to see what she is reading. Macbeth.

"You read Shakespeare?" I asked, surprised. I didn't see women reading much, women reading or studying was looked down upon in society. Hell, even men were oblivious to the work of the famous British writer. Of course just because people _thought _women didn't prosper from a higher education, that never stopped my dad from home-schooling my twin sisters because he believed that women should walk on their own two feet. Here this girl was, in an otherwise vacant bookstore reading the works people studied about in university. She does a double-take on me then she catches sight of my hair, her eyes narrow as she recognizes me. I'm caught in a mixture of anger and embarrassment. An annoyed look passes her expression and she lets out an angry huff. I narrow my eyes at her.

"What's stuck up your ass?"

"Not you," she says, giving me a fake smile.

"Believe me kid, I wouldn't want to be."

She shakes her head at me and ignores my comment. "Why are you bothering me…again?"

I roll my eyes. "This aisle is the only adult section. Your just in my way."

She snorts in an unladylike manner and my face twists in disgust.

"You should really live up to the expectations of the opposite sex."

"Yeah, this person of the opposite sex really wants to kick your ass right now. So why don't you do what you were doing before you noticed I exist."

She resumes her reading then, sticking her nose between the covers of the book. We were both silent for a second but it's broken when she turns a page. I stare at her angry form, I throw away the little thought that comments on how cute she looks with her lips pouted. "Why are you reading here? Didn't you see the signs?"

She turns to glare at me with her eyes. That melting amethyst mixed with a hint of mercury and pointedly sticks her tongue out at me before going back to her book. Shocked, I just stare at her, my left eye twitching slightly. Did she just…

"You such a child."

"Your such a prick."

"Wha-"

She puts her book back in the shelf, almost toppling the large structure with the force of her anger, and turns away from me before I can finish the first word and leaves the shop. Furious, my hands turn into fists and I take a deep breath to calm myself. What a bitch!

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><p>The next day, I go to the bookstore with the intention of teaching that girl a lesson. That stupid, flat-chested, pigeon-toed bitch was gonna pay. First, I want to give a long pathetic lecture about manners and let my anger out, then I need an apology, that was for sure. Then…then what? <em>I don't know<em>. But I'm so angry right now I don't think what I'll do even if she apologizes, which I highly doubt. I've been angry since yesterday and I'm gonna burst if I don't get back at her for being such a bitch. I go inside as soon as I get there and spot Urahara at the register, yawning behind his waving fan. His eyes, which are mostly hidden under that hideous green and white bucket hat, widen in surprise when he see's me.

"Ichigo, what brings you here so early this fine morning?"

I knew if this sneaky old man knew that I was here to meet that girl he'd think I was sweet on her when I really wish she was a guy just so I could have the pleasure of kicking her ass.

"Nothing. Came to see you."

He gives me a flat look. "Ichigo, I may look it, but I'm not stupid."

I return his flat look and he scratches the back of his neck. "You're just in time for lunch. Tessai made some sushi, come with me."

I nod and follow behind him. We go through the door behind the register and enter the small dining room with an adjoining kitchen.

"Good morning, Ichigo," came the small voice of the little girl standing on a stool over the frying pan.

"Morning Ururu."

"Hey, why's this freeloader here?" asks Jinta, the boy with the sharp mouth.

"You shut up twerp," I say, his words stinging slightly cause they seemed to be true. Jinta gave me a cold look before opening his mouth to give me a smart-ass reply, he was interrupted by the large man, bringing a plate of sushi to the table.

"Good morning Ichigo."

I nod at him. After breakfast is set on the table everyone begins to eat. Urahara turns to me almost immediately, the fan that had dissappeared when he started eating, was there again as he flaps it over his face.

"I'm actually glad you're here Ichigo, you saved me some trouble of finding someone. I'm gonna ask for your services today."

I give him a suspicious look, chewing on a piece of sushi. "What is it?"

"There's something I need to do today. Some…personal…errands," he says, looking to his left and right with narrowed gaze suspiciously. I roll my eyes at his obvious lie. He probably just wanted to sleep in or visit some girl.

"You want me to look after the store?"

"Please Ichigo," the man pleads with me, his palms joined together at their front, the fan ever present. "It's just for today."

"I don't know Urahara," I say hesitantly. The stupid clawing of guilt knawed at me with it's tiny nail. I didn't want to say no to a man feeding me sushi. He probably knew it too.

"You see, this is how the world works," he says, turning around dramatically, talking to no one in particular as the three other occupants on the table ignore him, used to his dramatics. "You see the way people betray you. When you feed them, talk to them, and love them like they were your own. I should have known-"

"Urahara-"

"-This world has done nothing but let me down."

"Urahara," I say, my voice raised to a shout.

He turns to me, his eyes downcast. I let out a sigh and nod. "Fine."

A smile breaks through. "Thank you Ichigo. I'll telegram your father about it."

I nod at him but begin to wonder, _I'd still be able to see her if she came_.

* * *

><p>And she did come. At exactly 1:10 I looked up from what I had been reading to see her tiny form enter the store. She hadn't noticed me and proceeds to her usual aisle.<p>

"Morning Urahara-san," she says softly. I blink at her. She still didn't notice me. I don't say anything and she picks out her book and opens it to where she had left off. Page 104. I scrawl at myself to have remembered that insignificant information. The store is quiet. After Urahara left to god knows where, Tessi went to the back mumbling something about sweeping the yard, Jinta was helping him and Urara was assisting in stacking a shelf at the other side of the shop. There were only about 3 people who came in and actually bought a book. The rest of the customers that had come did nothing but browse and I had told them they weren't allowed to read when I saw them doing just that. Now what kind of pseudo-manager would I be if I let this women read and not the rest of the customers. I stand up and head towards her. I stop when I see her suddenly clench her book slightly and bring it closer to her eyes, as if to capture each letter. The sure signs of an emerging plot presenting itself in the book I bet. I gaze at her then, which I don't think I've ever before, just little snippets of her hair and eyes wasn't exactly an accurate profile. She was indeed beautiful, in a graceful sort of way, her character said otherwise however. She had small but pouty lips, a small chin and nose all over a heart shaped face. Her eyes are what I liked the most, I decided. They were beautiful, especially when she was angry, like moulting gems. Her short ebony hair against her pale and clear skin contrasted greatly but seemed to suit her in a mysterious way. _That's what this girl was, _I thought, _mysterious_. I come up from behind her, a smirk on my face as I anticipate her reaction. I reach out my hand and, as quick as I can, snatch the book from her hands. She lets out a startled gasp and turns around, surprised. When she sees me, she furrows her brows in anger and her lips tighten as her eyes glow. Ah, those are the eyes.

"What the fu-"

"Your not allowed to read in the store. You wanna read it, you gotta buy it."

She gives me an incredulous look, her eyes and mouth both widening in a grimace, and reaches for the book. I raise it over my head, she jump up for it 3 times. My body shakes with laughter at her obliviousness to how ridiculous she looks right now. She suddenly realizes what she's doing because she stops and puts her hands on her hips.

"What's your problem?"

The smirk remains plastered on my face. I feel like I'm talking to a kid having a tantrum over some candy. "You reading this book when it clearly says you can't read here."

I point at the sign. She doesn't even bother looking, her eyebrows furrowing even more, her voice raising. "The fuck do you care? you don't own this place."

I bring the book down behind my back and drop my smirk, leaning closer to her. Surprisingly, I smell jasmine on her. I reel at the heavenly scent but keep my face straight.

"Actually I do…" Her eyes widen and I smirk at her taken aback look. "Urahara let me man the store for the day since he left for an errand. So you either buy the book or you leave."

By now, her mouth is in a tight line and her nose flares, all the hatefulness in her eyes are directed at me.

"Of course, I could reconsider…" her angry face instantly drops and her eyes widen as she looks at me hopefully. I almost give her the damn book back before I stop myself. "…if you apologize for calling me a prick yesterday."

Her mouth falls and I glare at her. "What?"

"You heard me."

She crosses her arms across her chest. "I don't have to say anything to you. You insulted me first."

"Fine, I guess you can come back tomorrow cause I'll be here all day kid."

We both glare at each other, amber crashing with amethyst. She turns away from me and I smirk in satisfaction and turn away as well. Suddenly, I hear footsteps getting closer and I almost think she's coming back to apologize when she suddenly pulls her leg back and kicks me in the shins. I let out a gasp and bend down to grab the injured appendix. I hardly see her leave but hear the bell chime as she closes the door behind her. I could almost swear I heard her chuckle evilly.

* * *

><p>Another week passes by, soon enough I forget about the little idiot in the book store. The next time I saw her was a work day. I was helping my dad in the clinic when we received a telegram from Mrs. Timothy. She was a wealthy women who had moved to Karakura after her husband passed away, leaving her with all his property seeing as they didn't have any kids. She was also a family friend and didn't receive any doctor's advice apart from my father's.<p>

"That old hag's still alive," Karin snorts from where she was sitting, putting her shoes on when my dad reads the telegram aloud to me. I roll my eyes at Karin and am about to rebuff her about her language but my oaf of a father beats me to it.

"Karin, my savage daughter, you must never talk about that hideous witch like that. Only I'm allowed to jealously rebuke her fortunes."

I face-palm and muffle out a groan. "Your not teaching her any better you old- goat."

As a reply he sends me a flying kick which I block with my arm. "Ichigo, my heir, the fruit of my loins, don't lecture your father about parentage-."

I use the distraction of his talk to punch his face, he falls to the ground. "I have taught you how to fight very well my son."

"Karin, you don't talk about people like that," She doesn't hear me as she leaves the house to play with a group of friends waiting outside, closing the door behind her. "And you, you overgrown walrus," I say, turning back to the man that I begrudgingly referred to as father, "give me the old hag's medicine so I can deliver it to her. "

"Ichigo, you shouldn't make fun-"

"NOW."

He shuts up, stands and goes to get the medicine, all the while crying about his delinquent son and how his Misaki was frowning at him from heaven. I kick him from behind and tell him to hurry up. Ten minutes of face-palms, punches, and sweat-drops later, I'm leaving the house. There aren't that many patients today so I can leave the work to my dad. He may look like a stupid bull-dog but he takes his work seriously and I could trust with him my life. I take a short cut to the old women's house and reach there in 45 minutes. Her butler opens the door for me and I hand him the medicine. He thanks me and I leave, promising to have my dad come by to check on her.

I take a detour and head to town, thinking I could meet some of my friends along the way. The yelling of shop owners and horse hooves fill my ear, the market is open and the rukus and smell of food and spices invade my senses. I hate crowds. I turn down a quieter pathway where the noise is at a minimum and the people are scarce. I realize I'm near Ulqiorra's house but decide against going without a proper invitation or else I would be at the receiving end of Ulquiorra's etiquette lessons. I scoff at my joke and keep walking down the path of the dirt road. I had reunited with friends through the weeks I had been here. Ulquiorra was as quiet and sober as ever, his green eyes full of arrogent intelligence and superiority. We had originally met through Grimmjow and I still wonder to this day how someone like Grimmjow could ever be friends with Ulquiorra. I guess opposites do attract. His family was very well off with the ownership of coalmines throughout the country. Chad was also just as quiet but with an air of comfort that I always felt when I was with him. He was Mexican and his family had moved here a few years ago when Chad was just a teenager, but even then, his built was something you saw once in a life-time. Fortunately, his form didn't fool me from his soft nature. A gentle giant. He was picked on a lot because of his origin and I felt for him since I was constantly under the same abuse because of my hair. I had fought with him one day when a group of older boys started taunting him. We beat them to the ground and we've been friends ever since. Grimmjow was my childhood friend, his mother was my mother's cousin and had adopted Grimmjow when she found out she couldn't bear any children. I had found out that Tatsuki, a friend from my neighbourhood had moved away with her family to the city as well as a few of my other friend. And finally Senna. Senna's father had become rich, finding a textile industry and they too had moved to the city. I hadn't told anyone, but I'm sure my friends already knew, that I had had feelings for Senna since I was a kid. I thought she was so beautiful with her bright eyes and beautiful hair, her laugh and her smile. It had been a dream come true when I had had sex with her. She was 16 and I was 18 when she came to me and asked me if we could do it. I didn't believe her at first and tried to get her to change her mind but when she kissed me I just couldn't stop. We had gone steady after that, awkward and uncomfortablely sweet in each other's presence, but I left for America soon after. Now I found out that she's gone and I can't help but think we'll never be together. I really did like her. Maybe even loved her…but I wasn't sure about that. When I look at the love my dad had for my mother (when he's serious, anyway) I don't think I can come close to that, even if I've liked Senna for so long. But it didn't matter anymore. She was gone, so it didn't matter. Every man was probably falling at their feet for a wife like Senna. I shake the thought from my mind, a sad air looming over me as I walked down the street.

I pass Urahara's bookstore and I forgot about my negative thoughts when I see her inside, something akin to excitement and humour and annoyance taking hold of me. My shins throb unconsciously when I remember her kick. I had never had a girl hit me before, except for Tatsuki, it was slightly refreshing from the fake smiles and delicate body of females that I came in contact with everyday of my life. I enter the shop quietly and walk towards her, she's reaching for a book on the top shelf but with her tiny frame she can only touch the rims. I bite back a retort and my lips lift slightly into a smile at her attempts. I come foreword and stand behind her, close enough that the heat of our bodies mix and her back is almost touching my chest. Too close I realize too late. She stiffens, her hands still reaching up. I smell it again, the sweet smell of jasmine and when she accidentally pulls back into my body, a shot of heat runs through my spine, pooling suddenly in my abdomen. I reach for the book and pull it out, stepping away from her quickly as she turns to look at me. I hand her the book, desperately trying to hide my blush and paste on my signature smirk when she glares at me, snatching the book from my hand.

"I could've gotten that," she says, an attempt appease her case. I roll my eyes at her, trying to calm the stirring of my dick. I may not have liked her but she was damn attractive and I was still a fucking man.

"I don't doubt it."

She narrows her eyes at my dripping sarcasm, turning away and looking down at her book, she opens the first page. _Not going to apologize for kicking me, I see_. I don't judge her, I would have done the same if our roles were reversed. I decide to just drop it, it would end up with a useless fight with her storming out of the shop because she couldn't stand the sight of me. I don't know why the thought of her frustrated at me somehow annoyed me, but what annoyed me more was that I didn't like the idea of her leaveing. I wanted her to stay and talk to me, even if we were arguing. Confused at this sudden revelation, I do what any man would've done concerning flustered emotions. I run. I turn away to leave, deciding to just head home. A pang of some form of disappointment hitting me. I frown at that. Did I want to stay here? With her? The thought was surprisingly pleasant and I almost went along with it, but I shook the thought away. This girl was annoying and she was sometimes fun to argue with, that was it. With that I resume my walking.

"Thank you."

I wouldn't have heard it, and I didn't hear it at first but when I looked back her eyes were on me and a small blush of embarrassment on her cheeks. She looks down and explains herself.

"For"- cough- "getting the book for me."

I nod, feeling her embarrassment reach me. "Your welcome."

I leave the store and walk home, a mixture of jumbled emotions raging inside me.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter-3**

"Ichigo, where do you keep going everyday?"

I look back from tying up my shoelaces at Yuzu, her arms crossing over her chest in what she hoped was an intimidating gesture. I supress the smile but my lips twitch as I stand back up.

"What are you talking about?"

"You leave suspiciously everyday without telling us where your going. Grimmjow came looking for you so don't even lie about being with him," Yuzu tells me in one breath. Her eyes stern, taking on the role of the mother hen. I smile at her determined eyes.

"It's nothing Yuzu. I'm going to Urahara's."

Her frown falls and her natural smile takes place. "Oh okay."

I kiss her forehead and head out the door. I pass through town, heading straight for the bookstore. I noticed the jittery feeling my stomach took and my anticipation. Though I would never admit it aloud, I was having fun messing with that brat. It left me something to look foreword too. There was nothing else. The confused feelings from last time was just me acting up and over-exaggerating. I had no feelings for the girl in the bookstore. Just harmless curiosity. My feet pick up their pace. Sure enough I find her there. Same aisle, same book. Now on page 103. Urahara sits at his place behind the register, his head on his desk, small snores coming from his direction. I make my way over to her. She looks up at me now, a poker face, then goes back to reading, already used to seeing me. I take a few seconds to run my eyes over her body, she's wearing a silk kimono with purple and white sequins and designs decorating the cloth, it hugs her body around her waist and falls loose around her legs, her hair is tied up and my hands twitch on an impulse to remove the clip and admire her ebony locks. I catch myself and avert my eyes from her figure, heat marring my features and I return the scrawl to my features, ignoring my thoughts prior. I divert my attention and look to the book she's reading. Macbeth.

"You know I've read that," I tell her, she ignores me as I start searching the bookshelf for something to read. "It's one of my favourites."

I pick up a book from Shakespeare's collection. "Hamlet would probably be my favourite."

I look back at her to find her eyes on me. My stomach jumps slightly to realize she was looking at me but then she looks back down, a scrawl on her face. I smirk at her annoyance. "It's about a boy who's uncle become the king of his fathers kingdom. His mother ends up marrying his uncle. The ghost of hamlet's father talks to him one night and tells Hamlet that his dear brother, the newly appointed king, is the one who murdered him. Hamlet swears revenge and gives up everything in order to get it, his friends his lover, even his sanity."

I look at her from the corner of my eye and find her staring at the book in my hand. A few seconds pass and I open the book to start reading the first page.

"What happens?"

Her voice is small and hesitant, as if she's fighting with herself to talk. I think it's the first time she has initiated a conversation with me without it being an argument. I smirk inwardly but try not to let it show since I knew she would be angered. It's strange, I hardly knew this girl but I was already anticipating and predicting each reaction. I turn to her and lift a corner of my lips, she notices that.

"You'll have to read it."

She stares at me for a few seconds and shakes her head, going back to reading her book a small tilting on the side of her lips. I let a full smirk take over my face at that and turn back to my own book and start reading.

* * *

><p>It went on like that for a few days. Every day I would come and find her in the same aisle and everyday I would stand a few steps away from her and read my book while she read hers. We were quiet the whole time, she never spoke and neither did I. My legs would feel numb for standing so long but I endured when I would glimpse at her hair and catch a sniff of her jasmine scent. When she had finished Othello I came in and found her reading Hamlet, I couldn't help but smirk smugly at that. One day I came into the shop to find there were two couches placed beside each near the window. She was already sitting on one of them. Making herself comfortable. I couldn't help the smile on my face when I saw her sitting on a large armchair, her fingers to her mouth in anticipation as she read the book I had chosen for her. I look through the bookshelf, pulling and pushing book I had already read or didn't seem interesting at all. I was all but about to throw my hands up in defeat when my eyes caught a leather-bound book hidden between two hard covers. I pull it out and look at the title engraved in gold.<p>

**'The Raven'**

**And other poems**

**By Edgar Allen Poe.**

I had remembered my mother reading me this book when I was a child. I reminisce at the bittersweet memories of being tucked into bed by my mother, she had told me the Raven wasn't a child's poem but I insisted on her reading it. And she did, she created noises and used deep voices when appropriate which made me laugh. I hadn't been bored or scared. Not once. I had asked her questions, why's and how's, given my childish commentary and advice. She had laughed along with me at times. I walk to the chair opposite her and sit on the couch, opening the book and go through the pages until I reach 'The Raven'. I read each line carefully, recalling the way my mother had sounded when she read it. When I take a deep breath. Memories of my mother would always accompany only some of the good, more of the bad. About how she had died, when I was still so young. I look up at the sound of a page turning, pulling me out of my reverie. All I see is a small creature curled comfortably on the couch with her feet up, her head down, the book on her lap. Her eyes are hidden behind her ebony hair. As black as a raven's feather. I smirk at the contrast and how well it fit her. She was the raven and I was the man. The frustrated man that can't seem to figure out the mysterious existence of the raven. Her eyes suddenly raise to mine, catching me staring at her. I look back down at the book, conscious of the blush take form in my features. I look at her from the corner of my eye to see her look at me, confused, then to the book in my hands. Her eyes linger then she turns away. I let out the breath I didn't know I had been holding.

* * *

><p>It was a few days later that I came to the shop and didn't find her there. My heart instantly sank as I searched through every aisle. <em>Maybe she found a new section of books<em>, I thought hopefully.

"She's not here."

I turn to look at Urahara, he's flipping casually through a book. I curse that I've let myself be seen like this. Flustered and desperate.

"What do you mean?"

"She didn't come today," he says simply. Shrugging his shoulders. I stay quiet, he knew I was here for her, no point in lying. I get out of the shop and start walking home, my spirits dampening considerable. There was no point in staying there without her. When I reached my house there was a car outside I didn't recognize. I went inside and was greeting with my dad's foot at my face.

"ICHIGOOOOOOOOOOOOOO."

"Dad, what the hell-"

"My son, there's a surprise for you in the living room."

"What are you talking about goat-face."

I block his punch with my fore-arm and kick his side to send him flying to the other side of the room. Karin appears in the doorway, leaning against the side.

"Ichigo, Senna's here."

I freeze and stare at her, tring to catch her on her joke. But there's no lie in her eyes and her features are blank except for her scrawl. I nod at her, my heart starting to race at an uncomfortable pace. She was here. Senna was here. I hadn't seen her for so long, what would she look like? What would she think of me? I wish I had worn something better when I left this morning. I follow Karin to the living room, my dad's wails and complaints following behind me. I see her. Senna's sitting on the Victorian couch, facing me wearing a pink western dress, her hair is longer and her eyes are shining as she smiles at me. My breathing hitches when I see her.

"Senna," I breath out.

"Ichigo, it's so good to see you," she exclaims, getting up to give me a peck on both cheeks. I couldn't help but stare at the girl who had grown up to be so… beautiful. Her eyes were glowing and her smile was huge, she was clearly happy to see me. "I've been waiting for you for so long."

"Sorry, I was at the bookstore."

She rolls her eyes, "I meant in America."

Oh. "Right." Idiot..

She suddenly blushes, eyes downcast. "Have you heard?"

"Heard what?" I ask, confused. She raises her eyes to mine, hope and happiness is all I see.

"We're getting engaged."

* * *

><p>"Come on baby, I know you like it when I lick you like this."<p>

I couldn't even muster the strength to grimace. Did he honestly think licking my nipple like a slobbering dog would have me moaning. No wonder he comes to these places, his wife probably can't stand sleeping with him. My look of disgust is expertly hidden under my poker face and my mouth is sealed to any profanities or remarks I might have against a customer. He slides his dick inside me and I wince once then wait for him to release himself. He starts moving inside me and moans as he reaches down to kiss me, I turn my head away just in time and he starts licking my jaw. I start moaning as if I'm enjoying this just so he can come faster, a handy trick used in desperate times. His dick twitches inside me at that and he goes faster. When he's finally done, he places a kiss on my neck before he gets up, puts his clothes on and leaves. I turn to my side and curl up into a ball. _I didn't want to be here, I hated it, I hated it here_. I close my eyes, which doesn't help because a certain orange haired dork would suddenly appear behind my lids. I hadn't gone to the shop today. Did he go? I take a deep breath and hear a knock on my door. I groan, not another one. I was done for the day. I just wanted to sleep and not wake up. The door opens anyway.

"Rukia."

Momo. I get up to a sitting position, my back to her. "Yeah Momo?"

"Dinners ready. Everyone's waiting."

I thought of that, sitting for dinner was fine, but sitting with geezers who pay extra for sitting with a few girls when we eat dinner while they slide grimy fingers up your naked leg. I can't stomach that tonight.

"Not tonight Momo," I say, turning to her slightly. "I'm a little tired."

She nods and closes the door behind her.

Later that night, as I lay down trying to sleep with my raging stomach Momo comes in and hands me a piece of bread. The gesture so heartfelt that I hug her to me.

"It'll be alright Rukia, you'll see."

I nodded against her shoulder. She lays down with me after that and slowly I started telling her about the man I had met in the bookstore. Momo couldn't help but squeal when I told her that he helped me pick out a book for me.

"Rukia, that's so sweet."

I narrow my eyes at her in the dark, though I know she can't see me. "Come on Momo, it's not like that. He still calls me a child and thinks nothing of me."

"What about you?"

"Hm?" I ask confused.

"What do you feel about him?" she asks.

What did I think of him? Well he was annoying but not the kind of annoying that you get sick of easily. He was temperamental, but that part amused me to no end. He was…persistent. I didn't want to talk to him, have anything to do with him at the beginning, but he persisted in his annoying behaviour. Before I realized it, I was actually looking forward to go to the bookstore. And before long, I found that his gaze on me had my heart leaping in a feeling I had never felt before. I had never looked at a man like I do him. Ever. Men were monsters that only took what they wanted and left you bare and naked, literally. But him, I didn't know him but I could tell that he was the kind of man who would never do that.

"Well-"

"What is going on here?"

My heart jumped to my throat when I thought it was Gin or even Aizen who opened the door to find Momo and I together. This place was strictly business centered and if they discovered I had a friend here they would reprimand not only me but Momo as well. Fortunately, it was only Matsumoto. I breathed a sigh of relief, putting a hand to my heart.

"Matsumoto, you scared me."

She smirks and eyes Momo and I both together in bed. "Is this something I should know about?" she asks, winking. Momo bushes beet red and I roll my eyes.

"Shut up Rangiku," I say, getting up into a sitting position.

"Aw come on Rukia, we just came to see you cause we were bored, you know I just want to have some fun."

I chuckle slightly at that. There was nothing in the world that would stop her from having her fun.

"Now now Matsumoto, don't bother those two," says Orihime, coming from behind her, a sweet smile and an awkward look on her face. "We'll-ah- leave you two alone."

I reach my hand out to them, "Wait." I knew to Matsumoto this was all a joke but Orihime would actually start to believe there was something going on between Momo and I. Said girl was uselessly mute at a time like this, her face still red.

"Orihime, it's nothing, Matsumoto likes to joke around too much," Nell says coming up from behind the red head and placing a reassuring hand on Orihime's shoulder.

"Oh yeah, what were you two talking about then?" asks Matsumoto, trying to disguise her laugh by a voice of authority. I glare at her, no way was I telling her anythi-

"Rukia's in love."

My jaw drops and I whirl at Momo. "Hinamoroi!"

Her eyes widen and she looks scared for a second, "What?"

I roll my eyes, knowing this would spiral out of control. "Thanks for nothing."

I look to the three girls standing at my door, all wearing the same comical gaping face, their eyes and mouth wide open. I would've laughed if their surprise wasn't directed at me. Before I know it I'm tackled by Matsumoto to the ground, While Orihime and Nell start squealing loudly. I suddenly realize how loud we were.

"Shh guys, Gin or Aizen will hear us."

Matsumotos eyes gleam at the prospect of secrets coming from me, she shakes her head. "They're not here. They're never here. Now you, little missy, have some explaining to do."

I roll my eyes at her and try to push her off. She pulls away and Orihime and Nell sit down beside her jumping up and down.

"Oh my, oh my, oh my, Rukia's in love!"

I gape at Orihime. The idea appalling. "I never said I was in love."

Matsumoto smirks and kneels closer to me, Momo at my side just as excited as the two.

"Tell us EVERYTHING."

Sigh. Dreamy eyes. Faraway look. Fanning faces. Sigh.

I have been looking at the girls in front of me consummate the same routine for over 10 minutes after I finish telling them about the orange haired man.

Sigh.

"You guys, enough," I say, my patience breaking.

"But… but he's just so…dreamy."

I roll my eyes at the inappropriate use of the word. "It's not dreamy, all we do is fight."

"Ah, but didn't you know?" Matsumoto asks, looking at me, "If a guy annoys you, he likes you."

I groan. "That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard."

She shrugs, going back to her sighs.

"He sounds so sweet though, have we ever seen him before?" asks Orihime. I shake my head.

"I heard the Urahara-san say he just came back from somewhere."

They all sigh loudly at the same time and a muscle jumps in my jaw. Seriously, what was so intriguing about me and some random guy fighting all the time.

"Okay guys, not that I don't love where this talk is going," I tell them sarcastically, "It's late and I need some sleep."

They all nod and Orihime yawns. They get up, and I move my eyes to my favourite spot on the window. The jasmines are blooming and I smell them. Nell stops and turns to me, the other three girls stop with her. I turn to them when I feel they're eyes on me.

"Rukia…" Nell starts.

I wait in silence for her to continue, somehow expecting what her next words will be.

"You like him?"

Orihime, Matsumoto and Momo turn to look at me, my eyes don't waver from Nell's. There's a sudden tightening in my stomach when I think about the disbelief and disgust on his face if he were to discover what I am. Nell doesn't miss the fleeting look in my eyes.

"Rukia…" She starts taking a step towards me. I shake my head and let a small smile to my face to not worry any of them but can't stop the venom leaking into my voice at my next words.

"I am a whore. That's nothing, worse than nothing. I don't feel anything for him and that's the way it should be."

I suddenly don't know who I'm trying to convince, myself or them. All four pairs of eyes look away from me. They know I'm right and they know it's the same for them. I turn back to the window view and hear they're receding footsteps.

"Good night Rukia," Momo says softly before closing the door. I'm left alone in the dark.


	4. Chapter 4

**The Raven-4**

Again, the next day, I make my way to the book store. She's not there. This can't be happening. I've been coming here everyday for a week and I'm as anxious to see her as I was then, if not more. _What if something's happened to her?_ I ignore the way my chest tightens at the thought. _Maybe she's just busy. She probably does have a life other than the bookstore,_ I try to reason with myself. I know I did, and I was neglecting my duties to help my dad in the clinic- though he was being as aloof as I was, telling me I need a break after being oversees and studying for so long, just for a chance to happen upon a simple glimpse of her eyes or the scent of her. She seemed to be a good distraction against the raging emotions and summersaults attacking my chest after I had found out about my supposed arranged commitment with Senna. When she told me about the engagement I was so shocked I couldn't even form a proper reply, just gape and flop my mouth like a guppy fish. After a few moments of embarrassment on my part, I had excused myself claiming to have bad headache. Which wasn't far from the truth seeing as my thoughts exploded, causing a migraine to form.

I knew something like this would happen, and why not? I liked Senna, we were sweet on each other before I had gone to America to finish my studies in medicine. It had been nearly 5 years since I last saw her and I had to admit she was indeed even more beautiful than before. I knew I had liked her but marriage was another issue entirely. There was nothing wrong with the engagement, my father had been friends with her father since they were kids and I liked her as well. I groaned to myself, I didn't understand the problem myself, but whenever I happened to even think about the word _like _or _marriage _or _future _my mind was unconsciously assaulted with images of a raven-haired beauty I had gotten to know these past few weeks. Maybe that's why I was looking for her, to see if these feelings I supposedly harbored for her were actually true or just a farce. I let out a frustrated breath to the heavens. _Where was she anyway_? I turn to Urahara who was busy with his nose between a book. I stomp towards him.

"Urahara, I want to know where that girl lives? I know this is rude and weird of me to ask but-"

"HunoKama Inn."

I jerk back as if he's slapped me across the face. Anger surges through me and I frown at his humorless joke.

"That's not funny, asshole," I say, my voice dangerously low, "I'm talking about that girl who's always here with me, the one with amethyst eyes."

He raises his eyes from the book to scrutinize me. I almost blush at the tenderness my voice had taken to describe a girls who's name I didn't even know. He turns back to his book.

"I'm telling you what I know. HunoKama Inn."

I almost grab the front of his kimono and slam him to the table. "You bastard."

"Ichigo," he says my name in a surprisingly serious voice. "Get out of my shop if your going to disrespect me."

I couldn't stop my body trembling with anger. I could see the seriousness in his eyes. He can't be lying. _But he had to be._ I push myself away from his seat behind the register and get out of the shop, banging the door behind me. I started walking where he had told me she would be. I wouldn't believe him, I couldn't. She can't be…

I walk the route to the Brothel which wasn't hard considering Karakura was a small town and HunoKama was a well known whore-house. I spot it in the distance, coming to a halt I suddenly realize how ridiculous this is. She couldn't be here. She can't be a prostitute. My mind started reeling. Maybe she was just one of the maids there. But then how could she afford such an expensive kimono, or the clips on her hair. Just as I'm thinking through this I see her come out. It's been so long I haven't seen her that for a few seconds my heart pounds loudly in my ears and I end up just stareing at her. Then I hide. I can't believe this, I was hiding from a girl. If only Grimmjow could see me now, this would make his life. I turn my head and peek out at her from the corner of a house that veiled me. She's in another silk kimono today and her grace is carried with her ten folds. I look at the building she came out of, no doubt about it. HunoKana Inn. My hands curl into fists, this cant be real. Why-How-What…?

_Shit_.

Even as I think that, the innocent part of my mind still tries to come up with excuses as to why she was there. Comming out of a brothel. I stare at her as she walks through the crowded streets of the market, looking through necklaces and beads and handkerchiefs when her eyes fall on a boy sitting alone in the corner. Pity fills her eyes as she stares at the disgusting peaches he had on a table in front of him, maybe 5 or 6, all rotting. Suddenly a man comes from behind her, blowing into her ear. I grip the wall in front of me to stop myself from walking to him and ripping his fucking head off, for all I know he might be her lover. She turns to him and glares, saying something inaudible to me and starts to walk away. The man takes hold of her hand and that's when my control snaps, I start weaving through the street my eyes seeing red, my blood boiling, only the thought of smashing that bastard to the ground kept my sanity intact. But then I saw something that will forever be engraved into my memory. He pulls her closer and handed her a bunch of notes. Money. She looks around her worridly and finally back at him and nods, leading to an alley at the side of the road.

_What? What's she doing?_

I knew, at the darkest part of my mind I knew, but I wouldn't believe. So I followed them, keeping myself hidden. When I reach to where they were I heard the most disgusting sound that was ever to enter my ears. A moan. His moan. I didn't have to look to see what they were doing, my legs lost their strength and I slid down the wall. The heavy sound of breathing and his disgusting moans and pants with the sound of squelch echoes through my ears, pulsating through my body. but…why…

I squeeze my eyes shut at the final sound of his grunt and get up and race through the streets to my previous hiding spot. Clutching my chest, I doubted the erratic beating of it was from running a few meters. It takes a few minutes for me to look again but just in time to see the man come out from the alley, dressed properly with a satisfied smile on his face. I was contemplating the many way in which I could end his life when she came from behind him. As much as I wanted to be angry at her, to want to have nothing to do with her anymore, I couldn't. My eyes immediately softened and my stomach dropped at the dead and empty look in her eyes as she walked to the little boy in the peach stand. I watch as she approached him and he lets a huge smile come to his face, greeting her and showing her his peaches. She leans down on her haunches to tell him something, oblivious to the muddy road staining her expensive silk kimono. He suddenly smiles largely and hugs her, she puts her delicate arms around him. My eyes widen as they pull away and I see her hand him the money the man had given her. He looks down at it and suddenly starts crying. She cups his cheek and kisses him before getting up and standing above him, waiting for him to calm down. He sniffles but gives her a wet smile and turns to run away. She looks after him for a minute and turns to take a rotten peach from the table and bites into it. She turns back to the street, but I've already left. I've seen enough.

* * *

><p>I lay my head down on the table, my thoughts disturbed and confused. I was getting uncomfortable with the time I was consumed in thinking about him. I hadn't gone to the bookstore for 2 weeks now. Maybe it was better this way, out of sight out of mind, as they always say. I let out a sigh just as there's a knock at the door.<p>

"Come in," I call, without lifting my head. I would never get used to that knock, there weren't that many customers for me in the first place because of my lack of physique and my attitude but just the same, there were some men with a range of preferences. I felt sorry for the other more expensive girls working on the first floor of the inn, Matsumoto, Nell and Orihime were part of that group. They had more requests than they could handle.

"Rukia, you got a client," I hear Yoruichi tell me from the door. I nod against the table without lifting my head. After a few seconds I hear footsteps approach.

"So you really do work here?"

I jolt up like I've been electrocuted and turn around.

"You…"

It was him, the boy with the sun-like hair. He's looking around the expanse of the room. What was he doing here? He had found out…he had found out… my insides tightened uncomfortably and my palms became sweaty as my heartbeat increased.

"What are you doing here?" there was anger in my voice and I wanted to unleash all of it on him. Why him? _Of all people Why him? _My face took on a deadly scrawl. I wasn't so angry at him but rather the events fate had left me to. _Why_…

He shrugs, still not looking at me. "I came to see you."

I stifle a gasp in my throat. _He came to see me?_ How naïve of him.

"Well you've seen me, now get out."

He smirks at that and finally looks at me. His eyes are hard and angry as they take in my demeanour. I have never in my life been more shameful at what I am. This made me even angrier, who was he to provoke such feelings in me. I was about to lash out at him when he slides the door close behind him. He takes a step foreword and sits down cross-legged in front of me, a bag I hadn't noticed before, dangling from his wrist. He tilts his head slightly to the side and appraises me, his eyes still hard, the amber melting and sending a shiver down my spine and his smirk still in place.

"No." He says with finality in his voice, I narrow my eyes at him. "I already paid for your time."

The first time in a long time, a familiar prickling came to my eyes and a twitching in my nose before tears threatened to show through. What had I expected? What had I thought? That he was different? That he didn't look like the other men that came here everyday looking for a fuck before going home to their wife and kids? I wouldn't let my tears show, he wasn't worth it. No human would ever be worth your tears. I looked down, willing my stoic expression to remain unchangeable on my face. I started loosening the sash around my middle, pulling on it ever so slowly, like a robot.

"W-what are you doing?"

I look up just in time to see the pink tint cover his cheeks, he averts his eyes and pulls his head down.

"What?' I snap at him, slightly confused

"Uh- um, don't take your clothes off idiot," he says stammering slightly. I furrow my brows further. What was he saying?

"You want to fuck with our clothes on?" I ask, genuinely lost. I see the red tint touch his ear and almost feel the heat of his embarrassment hit me. He shakes his head.

"I don't want to sleep with you."

We were both silent for a few moment. "What do you mean?" I ask, tilting my head slightly to the side.

"You heard me," his voice taking on a hard edge. I didn't notice, too appalled at what he was saying.

"You know what this place is right? I took you to be naïve, not an idiot."

He looks up finally, glaring at me. My lips twitch in a smirk at that, retying the sash over my kimono. He straightens but the blush is still evident on his cheeks.

"I know what this place is. I just…didn't come here for that."

"Then why did you come?" I ask, my voice had gone soft and I cross my arms over my chest feeling even more self-conscious then before if that was possible.

"I told you, for your time."

We both stay like that for a while, silent. His eyes clash with mine and I can't help but look away and clear my throat.

"What would you have me do?"

He furrows his brows at that but doesn't say anything, instead he reaches for his bag and takes out a hardcover book from inside. He slides the book over to me and I look at the cover.

**The Raven & other poems**

**By: Edgar Allen Poe**

"I got that for you."

I blink. My stomach sinks and a large lump appears in my throat as I look at the book, not touching it, just looking with wide eyes. I couldn't hide my surprise from him, he continued to explain.

"I know you like to read and we have a similar interest in books so I got it for you since you weren't coming into the bookstore these days."

_So he did notice_. I bit my lower lip to keep from controlling the emerging tears forming behind my lids. I pick up the book and finally look up at him. He stares at me, almost expectantly and I notice the nervous twiddling of his thumb. I smile at him, a genuine smile that hadn't graced my face in a long time. This time however, I couldn't help the lifting of my lips and the blush that appeared on my cheeks at his thoughtfulness.

"Thank you."

His eyes widen slightly and for a second I think he didn't hear me because he just stares. After a few moments, his blush returns, he looks away and raises his hand to scratch the back of his neck, the scrawl I had become familiar with this past month adorns his features. "It was nothing."

We sit in silence then for a few minutes, a little awkwardly. "Read it to me."

I look to him, he's staring at me now, only a slight tint remaining of the previous blush. "Excuse me?"

He adjusts the pillows on his side and stretches his body to lie down. "Read it to me."

I look at him for a few seconds to see if he jests but he just stares at the ceiling, one of his legs propped up while the other lies limp, both his hands behind his head. Sighing I pick up the book, open it to the first page and start reading.

* * *

><p>I hadn't even noticed how fast time had passed until he pointed it out. I looked at the clock to see that he was right. He was leaving. I ignore the slight traitorous jolt of sadness in my chest and look at him hotly. He smirks at me while getting up in a sitting position, one elbow on his knee as he leans back on his hand. For the past 2 hours we had done nothing. I had read to him and when I had finished the book, I read it again. He was quiet the entire time, looking up at the ceiling and sometimes stealing glances at me. I had kept my eyes on the words and sometimes let my eyes drift to his form. Now that we were done I don't think I wanted him to leave.<p>

"Don't get so upset," he says smugly. I give him a flat look.

"Don't flatter yourself."

He chuckles at that and gets up. We're both quiet for a second, letting the silence sink in. He stands across my sitting position awkwardly and I try not to look at him. He suddenly moves towards me and leans down on his haunches a feet across me to my level. I look at him and see him regarding me with a serious expression.

"You know it's strange. We've met so many timesbut I still don't know your name."

I blink at him. He was right. All this time I've been referring to him as 'you' or 'he' to Momo and the others.

"Rukia."

His lips turn up slightly into a small smile. "Kurosaki Ichigo."

I nod once, smirking. "It suits you."

He rolls his eyes, his scrawl in place. "Your getting it wrong, it's not a fruit, it means one who protects."

"Whatever you say," I smirk at him. He scrawl and stands up, heading towards the exit.

"I hope the money you spent was worth it," I say again, without thinking. _What was wrong with me?_ He reaches the door and places a hand on the side. He turns to look at me with a small smile, his eyes melting honey combs.

"Every penny."

* * *

><p>From then on, Ichigo was there with me every night. He hadn't tried to touch me once and even though I would sometimes imagined what it would feel like to have his hands roam my body or how his would feel under mine, or wonder if his hair and his lips were as soft as they looked, these were bounderies I didn't wish to cross. I never initiated anything and neither did he. 'Friends' would the closest label that would describe our relationship, though it somehow seemed too innocent of a statement to me. He would bring me different book from then on. Just his own that he would ask me to read as he sat or lay down across me in my room.<p>

"Where did you learn to read?" he asks me in one of his visits as I pause at a period.

"When I was little, I had a neighbour who used to be a teacher but had gotten sick so he stayed home. He taught me everything."

I'm grateful he left the subject at that, I wasn't ready to tell him anything concerning my childhood. He was silent for a few seconds, I don't think he expected me to continue because when I did, his eyes widen in surprise slightly.

"I love it," I whisper, unconsciously running a hand down the page of words. Books held another world in their words and paragraphs. I loved living in that world. Words that meant so much to me and left behind some sort of message. With each book I read I felt an inexplainable feeling of growth and maturity. I hadn't realized I had stated my thoughts outloud until he confirmed the feeling. When I looked at him, something in his eyes told me he knew exactly how I felt.

The time he spent with me seemed to grow every time he came and even though I would never admit it, I was starting to enjoy his company far too much. After the fourth day he came in, he sat much closer in front of me. The sixth day he sat cross-legged beside me, peeking over my shoulders at the words I was reading from the book, our shoulders touching every so often, sending tingles down my spine. A week had passed where he would come everyday, filling my nightly schedule with just his company. However, on the seventh day, he didn't come. I received a customer that day. He had his way with me and then left, I sat on my usual spot beside the window, staring out at the jasmine petals flittering down from the tree. I tried not to think about him, of his honey-amber eyes, his mischievous smile or his obnoxious hair. The stars shone like diamonds in the velvet sky and I listened to the gentle sound of door chimes created from the blowing wind to a shop beside us until they lulled me to sleep.

* * *

><p>I waited for him the next day, then the next, then the next. He didn't come. I read the book he gave me countless times. I suddenly felt angry at him for abandoning me. But that was ridiculous, I hadn't belonged to him in the first place. My anger turned to confusion. Why did I care whether he came or not? I wasn't dependent on him. So what if I enjoyed his company? Did that mean he was supposed to be here everyday. My confusion only grew and finally led to depression. I stopped eating, sleep eluded me and I couldn't help the sighs that rolled out of my mouth in almost every breath. One day after a week of his absence I was sitting on the floor with my book on the low table, a batch of sake also sat on the table for my convenience. I heard the sound of quick and heavy footsteps and turned around just in time to see Ichigo slide my door open. His hair was slightly dishevelled and there were bags under his eyes, he was panting hard as if he'd been running and his black vest was slightly askew. I pulled my eyebrows together in confusion.<p>

"Wh-"

"My sister got sick."

I shut my mouth. He comes in and shuts the door behind him.

"She got sick about a week ago and since my father's away on a business trip I had to take care of her. She's better now and my fathers just got back home."

_And the first thing you did was come here?_

Suddenly, all the anger, all the frustrations and emotions I had been feeling and battled with the entire week depleted. Like they didn't matter. He was here, nothing mattered. He takes a deep breath and comes towards me. I put my hand down on my lap and stare at him as he approaches me. He sits down in front of me, but instead of asking me to read, he brings his face foreword. For a second I thought he had meant to kiss me but instead, his head fell on my lap.

"W-what are you doing?" I ask in confusion, wiggling away from him. Slightly disappointed because of my expectation for the kiss and surprised at his forwardness. He groans and turns around, the back of his head on my lap now and his body facing up, eyes on mine.

"Stop moving. Just let me sleep. I'm so tired."

I turn my hands into fists to stop myself from moving. A creeping warmth instils in my heart as I hear his first breath of deep sleep. He was so defenceless in front of me that I felt like hurting him. But looking at his sleeping face I knew I never would. I take a deep breath and turn back to the words on my book. Ignoring the strange churning in my heart.

* * *

><p>He comes a little earlier than usual the next day. The sun is still up and I sit beside my window looking out when he enters my room. I hadn't expected him till a while later. He smirks at the surprised look on my face and comes towards me. He still has bags under his eyes.<p>

"I couldn't sleep," he says as he sees me eyeing his bags as a way of explanation. He was kneeling down beside me when he suddenly looks up at me, his eyes widen slightly as they meet mine. I pull back at the closeness of his face, a blush threatening to bloom.

"What?" I ask.

He blink a few seconds then, without an answer, positions himself to lay his head against my lap. His eyes close and he turns to my stomach, I feel him inhale deeply and his lips lift a little in a half smile.

"You smell like this place. Like jasmine."

I blush at his drunken talk during sleep. He couldn't mean that. The first reason I sat here everyday was because of the intoxicating smell of jasmines. Maybe the smell had stuck on me long after I left my spot. My cheeks heat even more. How had he been close enough to smell me? His deep breathing fills the room and I look down at him. His face is strong and muscular. He really is very beautiful. His hair is what made him so unique as well as his amber eyes. Even though I would make fun of his hair, I realized that it resembled the rising sun. My legs become numb after a while and I raise my hands and lightly run my hands through his hair. They fall like ripples of silk water between my fingers. I do it again, then again. He groans and moves his head and finally settles down, his face facing my stomach. I look out the window, staring at the jasmines and let my thoughts run free.

* * *

><p>Two hours later, his eyes open, I was still unconsciously running my hands through his hair and reading a book with the other when he moaned. I pulled my hand away when he suddenly caught it in his. I noticed the abrupt difference between our hands, while mines were porcelain and fragile, his were tanned, large and squared and entirely circled my small ones. Tingles travel down my body at the intimate contact. I look down at him, his amber eyes meet mine.<p>

"Don't stop."

He tugs my hands slightly and it takes me a second to recover from the intense look in his eyes before I return my hands to his hair and continue where I left off. My fingers are shaking. His eyes stay open this time and he gazes across the room. I pick up my book and continue reading.

"Oh, I almost forgot," he says suddenly, picking his rear up, his head still on my lap and reaching into his back pocket to pull out a small book.

"They're Shakespeare sonnets." He hands it to me and I take it, putting my other book down. He looks pointedly at the book. I return my hand to his hair and I open the first page and start to read.


	5. Chapter 5

**The Raven-5**

The next day, Kurosaki arrives for dinner at the Inn with his friends. There was a teal-haired man by the name of Grimmjow who seemed to have a even more prominent scrawl than Ichigo on his face, a depressed-looking skinny and pale friend named Ulquiorra and a giant Mexican named Chad. A room was booked for us and I asked all my friends to come. They had cancelled all their customers for the night just to meet Ichigo. I saw the way Ulquiorra, who's facial expression remained mostely placid, eyes widened just a tiny bit when Inoue entered the room. Fortunately, she sat right beside him with Momo at her other side. I hid my smirk as I saw him stiffen. Ichigo turned to me in confusion, I pointed my chin in their direction and Ichigo gave him a glance before returning his eyes to me. We share a smirk and he winks at me. I turn away to hide my blush, my heart skipping a beat. Grimmjow eyes Nell hungrily as she enters the room. As he should, what with all the heavy curves under her kimono and her exotic looks, I had witnessed men run themselves mad for her. She, however, didn't even notice him as she sat between Chad and Momo, Matsumoto beside me. We all start chattering and getting along instantly. Our meal was served to us all in a short while. During our dinner, whenever Ichigo would turn to me or talk to me I could hear all the girls quiet down and look in our direction in what they thought a discreet manner. It made me blush and stammer to think of all the attention on me and I returned their happy looks with glares. They looked away, trying to hold in their laughter. When our meal was cleared, sake was served and as the evening went on, almost half of the room was drunk or tipsy. Nell, Chad, Ulquiorra and I were the only ones completely sober.

"Nell, why don't you dance for us baby?" slurs Grimmjow, leaning back on one hand. Nell scoffs at his rude manner and turns away. He gives her a glare. "I could easily make a complaint about you."

That wouldn't do much good since Nell was this Inn's top commodity. She gives him a glare and opens her mouth, but before she can give him a reply she stops and looks at me, her eyes mischievous. I can actually see an idea swirling around in her mind, taking form as she smirks and I take another sip of my sake.

"Rukia's actually our best dancer here."

I choke on my drink, thumping my chest as a series of coughs wrack my body.

"Really?" I hear Ichigo say beside me, disbelief coloring his tone. He turns to look at me, his eyes roaming my body. My face heats up at his attention and my body burns under his stare. He shakes his head, putting the cup to his mouth. "Naw, don't see it."

Matsumoto laughed when I hit him in the back of the head, causing his drink to spill a few drops.

"BITC-"

"She's right though," Inoue says. She's drunk out of her mind and leans her head on Ulquiorra's shoulder, her breasts rubbing against his elbow. We all see the effect this has on Ulquiorra without even looking down his pants, the blush painting his pale features is enough proof. "I remember this one time she danced and the entire crowd bided to win her."

I felt slightly annoyed at her drunken words, but I had no right to feel mad at her when the events actually did occur. Instead, I felt ashamed and disgusted. Momo spoke next, also extremely drunk.

"She's actually going to dance this coming week. We all do it once a year for the anniversary of HunoKama Inn. Rukia's always the best though."

"Momo-"

"Bringing all the customers in-"

"Momo-"

"You should come Kurosaki," she takes another drink from her glass, oblivious to the glares I send her way.

"I'll be there."

I turn to him, surprised. He's staring at me. Something is swimming in his eyes which I can't recognize. He has a smirk on his face but his eyes are completely serious. Matsumoto argues with Momo over another drink, Grimmjow keeps throwing profanities at Nell as she talks calmly to Chad, Ulquiorra removes the glass of sake from Inoue's hands as her head falls in sleep on his shoulders. "I'll be there," he repeats in a whispers, just for me to hear.

* * *

><p>The next morning I found myself sitting across Senna in our drawing room. I hadn't seen her since the day she had informed me of our intended marriage. Aparently, she had come all the way from Tokyo just to tell me and I had run away from my responsibilities like a coward. She had forgiven me, as she always did, and was back to give me a second chance and to have the necessary discussion. The clinking of the glass of china alerts me out of my reverie.<p>

"Ichigo," she calls, as she puts the cup of tea down on the table between us. There's only the two of us in the room, Yuzu and Karin are in their bedroom and the old goat is in the clinic. I gulp down the lump in my throat. "I wanted to talk to you face-to-face after everything that's happened."

I couldn't talk in fear that my voice would crack, instead I nod. She takes a deep breath.

"You understand how this engagement was issued because of a mutual friendship between our families, but I don't want you to think I agreed to this because of that." My heart starts picking up it's rate, out of love or anxiety, I don't know. "I'm in love with you Ichigo, I have been for a long time. I wanted you to know that...and I hope you feel the same."

I still can't talk, my tongue is stuck to the roof of my mouth, another lump in my throat. So many thoughts in my mind, none of which I can form in a coherent sentence. I knew I liked Senna. But did I like her enough to spend the rest of my life with her? The prospect had my stomach jumble with nerves, and not the good kind. I don't know when the change had occured within me, the change of my feelings for this beautiful women. I felt something, but it wasn't love. Maybe a commitment and responsibility. That since our families had agreed, it was only natural to follow their orders.

I nod my head and clear my throat, surprised when my voice didn't crack when I said, "Sure Senna."

With just those words, her face splits into a bright grin. It didn't take alot to get Senna happy. I could say the same about her anger as well though.

"Thank you Ichigo. We'll be so happy, you'll see."

I nod, a smile that doesn't reach my eyes on my face, but she doesn't notice as she reaches back for her cup of tea and a piece of biscuit. I sigh and my heart tickles as a smile from another girl appears in the secret recesses of my minds eye. I shake my head to get her out of my mind, instead, I focus on my future wife.

_It's a good match_, I tell myself.

_It's a good match_, I convince myself.

* * *

><p>Business was slow the next day, being a workday. Ichigo had told me after dinner last night that he wouldn't be able to come today. I didn't ask why and he didn't tell me. It was late at night when a drunk customer came in asking for my services. Yoruichi leads him to my room and he stumbles inside. I sit on a floor cushion at the centre of the room, watching him and trying to hide my disgust. He comes and kneels on all fours in front of me, breathing heavily, and slobbers a kiss to my neck. I arch my head back, disgusted and nauseas. His grubby hands start to travel over my breasts, squeezing them hard. I hiss in pain at his forcefulness. He starts to pant and lets out small moans. He pulls the sash of my yukata off and pulls my robe away. He brings his head down to my nipple and bites it painfully, a sharp jolt of pain travels through my body. I let out a gasp and push him away when I feel a trickle of blood slide from my nipple.<p>

"What the hell are you doing?"

He doesn't answer, instead he grabs both my wrists and pushes me down. I yelp as the back of my head hit's the wooden floor and my lower body is raised on the cushion. He crawls over me and bites my other nipple, using his hands to clutch my other breasts, his nails digging into them. I use my leg and kick him between the legs. He lets out a groan, freeing my hands as he clutches his penis, his eyes squeezed shut in pain. I get up on my elbows and pull myself away from him. His eyes raise to mine and he gives me a venomous glare.

"You bitch," he gasps out before coming towards me and striking me across the face. I land on my side on the ground. My vision blurs and my reactions were slow, I didn't feel the pain until after I notice the blood drip from my mouth and nose. I feel the burn and pain start to form on my jaw. I turn around to see him pull his fists back, I wasn't going to let him get away a second time. With anger and adrenaline as my only fuel I pull my leg back and use all of my strength to hit him in the stomach with a grunt, he chokes and bends forwards, clutching his stomach. I stand up, wiping the blood from my mouth. I could feel a bruise already forming. I pull back my fist and punch his face. He lands on his stomach face down. He had passed out. He was probably really drunk.

"Rukia!" I hear someone call for me outside the door before it opens to reveal Yoruichi and Momo. I realize I'm shaking and breathing too hard to think but I manage to form a coherent sentence.

"He hurt me," I say quietly, a wheeze, as a way to explain all the commotion. They both rush to my side. As Momo hugs me I hiss at the pain on my nipples. I realize my robe is open and I hurry to wrap myself up. Yoruichi gives me a concerned look and I turn away. She moves to the man on the floor and kicks him over so that he's facing up his nose is bleeding, forming rivers over his cheeks as they slide down to the floor. He moans and blinks his eyes rapidly.

"Wow Rukia, you did a number on him," Yoruichi tells me as she see's the blood pour from his nose. A bubble of pride wells up inside me and I feel slightly better at her praise and his pain. Yoruichi crouches down in front of the man and his eyes widen.

"Aren't you going to punish her after what she did to me?"

She uses the back of her hand and slaps him across the face, then she takes the collar of his shirt and brings his face in level with hers.

"Get the fuck outta here."

* * *

><p>I didn't want to see Ichigo the next day, seeing as my bruise had become even more prominent with a disgusting yellow color underling a green and a purple right beside a cut to my lip. I was given a day off because of yesterdays incident, not that I needed it. I never got customers anyway. I had spent the morning alone in my room except for the occasional visit from my friends throughout the day. After they had heard what had happened to me they demanded Yoruichi to tell them where the man went. Yoruichi was just as mad as they were but she said it was a direct order from Aizen to not start any trouble because it was bad for business. Typical Aizen. Instead, they made do with cussing the man out. I split my lip again from laughing so hard when I heard Inoue start swear with a very colorful vocabulary at the man. She didn't swear and that made me feel even better.<p>

As night fell, I couldn't take the chance of seeing Ichigo even if I was free from my duties. Couldn't take the chance of him barging into my room unannounced because it seemed so like him. So I walked around town, it was nearly empty and twilight was beginning to descend. It had been a while since I had gone to the bookstore so that was where I headed. Urahara was at the front, sleeping as usual, so I just went to my familiar shelf, pulled out a random book and started reading. Almost a half hour later I heard the door bell chime, but I paid it no heed as I had reached an interesting turn of events in the life of the antagonist. Suddenly a shadow appeared and snatched the book from behind me. Surprised, I turned around to retrieve the book, reliving a sense of deja vu, and came face to face with Ichigo. He had a smirk on his face and a glint in his eyes, but when his gaze met the disgusting bruise on my cheek, they widen and his face instantly fell to that of confusion and worry. My heart sqeezed in my chest.

"Wh-"

I snatched the book from his hand and turned away from him, trying to hide the embarrassment I felt. I hate the way fate played with my life.

"Hey," he calls me, his voice low and hard. He sounded angry and I dared not look at him. "What happened to your face?"

I shake my head, my eyes still on my book, the words obscured in my mind. "N-nothing."

I feel his hand on my shoulder, he pulls me around gently. My eyes are downcast as he grabs my chin, excruciatingly gentle with his fingers even in his angry state, and tilts my face to the side to allow him to see my jaw. He leans down and I look from the corner of my eyes to see his eyes burn and turn into molten lava, a muscle in his jaw jumps and his lips tighten in a thin line. He pulls away, taking a step away from me, his fists clenched. We were silent for a few seconds.

"Did someone hit you?" he finally says, a shiver runs through my body at his voice. It's husky, dripping with anger and venom. I don't say anything.

"Look at me."

I turn my eyes to him to see him staring at me. I sigh.

"You know I'll just find out from Yoruichi anyway."

I turn to glare at him. "It's none of your business"

He seemed taken aback for a second, surprised marring his features then he returns to scrawling at me. "What's your problem?"

"I don't need a man trying to solve my problems for me. I took care of him."

His eyes narrow even more. "Who is he?" he lets out between his teeth.

"Why the hell do you care?" I ask, meaning for my voice to come out angry but it sounded tired and exasperated. I shake my head at him, my eyebrows coming together in confusion.

He doesn't answer me. Instead, he stares at my face, going over every feature slowly with his gaze like a carress. I blush at the intensity his amber eyes have taken. He takes a step towards me and my heart jumps. He's a few inches away from me, our chests almost touching and I don't stray my eyes from his. He brings his hands up suddenly and places his fingers on the side of my jaw, his thumb touches my lip where the cut was. My lips part in a soft exhale and my head grows dizzy at the sudden and intense hot jolt of desire that rushes through me. I see his eyes melt, not in anger this time, but desire. My heart skips a beat and my stomach churns with the look in his eyes. The places his hands touch heat up and I'm afraid I'll melt under them. His thumb caresses my lip softly, his eyes travel from my bruise to my lips to my eyes.

Suddenly he pulls away, I notice a pink tint in his cheeks as he turns away from me and walks to the door.

"I'll come see you tomorrow, you better get home before it gets dark."

* * *

><p>"What happened to you?"<p>

Ichigo slid the door shut and I couldn't keep the grimace featured on my face as I stare at his hand.

"Oh this?" he asks nonchalantly, pointing to his bandaged wrist. He shrugs his shoulders, "Got into a fight."

I blink once, twice. "With who?"

He comes towards me, a bag of books in his hands. "Some guy."

I raise my eyebrow, "Someone I know?"

He doesn't answer, its obvious. He puts the books down beside me and lays down, his head on my lap again. Even though I know he isn't tired this is his fetel position for our meetings. After a moment of silence I ask,

"Who won?"

He scoffs, "I did, obviously. This," he says, pointing to his wrist, "is nothing. I was distracted for a second."

"Why'd you get in a fight?" I ask, suspiciously. Hoping he didn't do what I think he did. Yoruichi had told me last night Ichigo had come to see her and ask about the man who had hurt me. Yoruichi didn't even blink when she told him the man's name.

Ichigo shrugs and closes his eyes. I stare at his face. _Would he do that for me?_ I wasn't sure if he did but I had a pretty good gut feeling.

"Can you read those to me?" he says, changing the subject and opening his eyes and pointing to the bag with his chin. I reach into the bag and take out 3 thick books. I look through the titles and decide on the thinnest from the three. I open and start reading. He listens to me, his head turned to the view of the jasmine tree by my side. 45 pages into the book Ichigo asks me a question that grips my heart.

"Why are you here?"

I stop the flow of words from my mouth and look down at him. His eyes are intent on mine as he moves to get up into a sitting position, facing me. My eyes widen and I put the book to my side.

"What?" I ask. Hoping with all my might he hadn't said what I think he did. He brings his face closer to mine, his eyes serious and melting. I feel my heart convulse and my breathing kicks up a notch, my stomach churning in nerves.

"Why are you here?" he asks again, his voice a little more than a whisper. The setting sun outside creating an orange glow around the room and his face. _He looks angelic_. I can't help the twitch my nose takes on the tears threatening to emerge. Of all people, why him? _Why him_? Why did he make our situation so blunt? We had spent our time together living in ignorance and never mentioning the taboo subject of me whoring myself. I look down, trying to appear emotionless and controlled, which was always a problem whenever he was around. "Rukia, Why are you here?"

I blink. My heart stops beating for a second. That was the first time I had heard him say my name. It seemed to wrap around his tongue and float out like water. I take a deep breath and bring my face up to look him in the eyes. I wanted to tell him the truth, everything about me. But I had suddenly lost my voice, the functioning of a proper mind since he had started talking. He brings his eyebrows together in confusion. I open my mouth.

"I can't tell you," I say, my voice cracking.

"Why?" he asks, though there was anger as the most prestine emotion, I could hear the tinge of sadness, an emotion I was all to accustomed to.

"I'll have to show you. But not today. When I'm ready, then."

He stares at my face, his features relaxing. I take a deep breath and let it out.

"I'm sorry I'm not who you expected me to be."

At this, tears really do appear in my eyes and I look down. Those were the best way to describe my feelings for this man sitting in front of me. This man who made me so angry and so happy, who would buy me for hours on end just so I could read a book to him, a book he had most probably memorized. A man who spent half his days with me in a whore house like it was the most normal thing for him. My heart went out to him and for a moment I was extremely afraid. So afraid my heart clutched and my blood ran cold. What if this was all a dream? What if someday when I wake up and Ichigo wasn't there? How would I go on? How did I survive this long without him?

I feel his hands lift my chin, tilting my face up. He stares into my amethyst eyes and his eyes soften as he sees the unshed tears there.

"Your more Rukia."

Then, ever so gently, he moves his face forward and kisses me. I blink at the contact. I had usually avoided kisses with my customers since they signified something personnel between people. Sometime though, some would slobber on my mouth while others surprised me with a peck before I turned away. This was nothing like those kisses though, nothing like I was expecting. As I closed my eyes fireworks exploded and my mind dimmed and hazed until I had no rational thought in my head. My heart thumped in my ears and I could feel my hands shaking. I kissed him back and he groaned in satisfaction. I realized he had been tense when he had kissed me, gauging my reaction. I wrap both my arms around his neck and clutch at his silky hair that I loved so much, running my hands down his mane at the back of his neck. He put his hands on my waist and pulled me closer. His lips were slow and sensual on mine and I all but fell into a haze of pleasure just from that. He licked my bottom lip, asking for entrance and I open my mouth to him, an unintentional moan coming out of me and I feel his hands tighten on my hips. He explores my mouth with his tongue, and I use my tongue to message his and dominate the kiss, licking the inside of his mouth, sliding down the roof making him shiver. I had never thought to experience this my entire life, this kind of pleasure and happiness. I felt my heart would burst. Suddenly, there was a loud cry of a raven right outside my window and I jumped, pulling away from him in surprise. He sits there for a second, his eyes heavy and dazed, breathing heavily. I try to regain my breathing and rest my back on the wall. His eyes meet mine and I turn my head away. Now that all the thought in my head were becoming more obtuse I realized the reality for what I had done. What did I just do? I was a whore and Ichigo was just a normal man, an innocent man. A whore shouldn't feel this way for anyone. I didn't deserve it. I don't look up as a blush of shame mar my features. I hear him gulp and get up. I still don't look.

"I'll see you later," he says, his voice husky and low. I shiver as he turns to get up and leaves the room. I look up to stare at the space he departed from. I look out my window to see him walking down the street, probably imagining the redness of his ears.

* * *

><p><strong>(AN) Thanks to everyone for all the favorites and reviews and alerts, I'm glad this fic is getting some attention, you guys make me so happy XD i do hope the kiss lived up to your guys' expectations, if not... sorry :S **


	6. Chapter 6

**The Raven-6**

Crowds of men filled the main hall of the inn. Furniture had been moved and accomodations had been made to present the main halls with pillows on the floor overseeing a large expanse of space where the girls of the inn would dance. I had left the dressing room to get a glimpse of the crowd as people starting filling in while I was still wearing my bathrobe, my hair done up, my face ready for makeup. My eyes widen as I take in the entire grandeur of the hall. Aizen didn't lose any expense paying for the persian rugs that covered the floor, the silk curtains and flowers that were adorned around the room. Sake was being served to guests that were already seated. I suddenly catch a whiff of orange and teal hair in the crowd and turn away so quickly I got whiplash.

He came.

Ichigo was here.

After the day that he kissed me, I hadn't seen him. He had avoided coming to the inn and I was afraid I wouldn't be able to face him, but now what? How was I going to dance when I feel his eye burn me. Slapping my cheeks to calm the blush starting to stain there, I head back to the dressing room. Inoue was already ready, wearing an expensive, silk, violet colored kimono with delicate silver designs. Her smile turns into a frown as she sees my face.

"Rukia, what's wrong? Your completely red. Are you sick?"

I shake my head, unable to speak. It was true my face was burning and my thoughts were askew but I didn't need anyone else knowing that. _Damn you Ichigo_. I put a smile on my face for her and change the subject.

"Good luck Orihime," I say, my voice surprisingly calm.

A nervous smile appears on her face as she clasps my hands with her. "Thanks Rukia, I'll do my best."

I smile slyly at her. "Ulquiorra's here."

Her eyes widen and her cheeks flush. "H-he is?"

I nod and wink at her. "and I have a pretty good feelings that he came especially for you."

"Guys what are you talking about?" Matsumoto comes towards us, whining in her sultry voice about being left out. She's wearing an emerald green silk kimono with golden lucky charms that sparkled in the light. Her hair was up from her usual flamboyance and a deep cut adorned her neck, leaving a large part of her breasts exposed.

"Ulquiorra's here," I say, smirking at Motsumoto. Rangiku's eyes brighten and her smile turns mischievous.

"Well, well, well, I'm gonna enjoy this. If Ulquiorra's here than there's someone else I know who's bound to come."

Her eyes move to mine and I can't control the heat that spreads through my face. She winks at me and pulls Orihime out of my grip.

"Let's get ready guys. We got to make a lot of men sweat."

* * *

><p>Inoue was the first one up and the crowd loved her, we all had different types of dances, Orihime's chose a more crazy tune to dance to, a story told through her moves about animals becoming humans and taking over the world, or so she had told me before going on stage. Matsumoto did more of a belly dance then depict a story about a women who had sex with her husband's brother to make her husband jealous. She forgot the story half-way through and just started to swing her hips and legs and move provocatively in every direction. Nell was more sophisticated and graceful in her moves and depicted the story of a women who saved her child from her husband and ran away to a new land with her baby. There were others but I was too nervous or didn't care enough to watch.<p>

I sat in front of my mirror, fixing my makeup, trying to appear celestial. I cleaned my face, used kohl on my eyes, painted them to appear cat-like, the wing almost extending to my temple. I dressed up in a beautiful silky white Kimono with a silver sash. The entire cloth was simple, with silver streaks going through, so when the lights touched it in the right position, it would sparkle. It appeared ghostly and that's how I wanted to look. Hinamori was the last before me, I wasn't able to see her performance except for the grand finale. She moved away from the cheers of the crowd after she was finished and winked at me, giving me a thumbs up and left behind the stage. After a few minutes, the crowd buzzing a little, I was announced. My heart leapt in my throat and I felt my skin break in sweat as I took my stand. It took a few seconds for the crowd to quiet down. I took a few breaths trying to calm myself, my back straight, my shoulders squared and my eyes wide open, looking at the crowd before me. I see a pair of honey eyes through the entire hall.

Ichigo.

_Even now in a crowd full of people, how is it that my eyes still find you._

They burn amber as they stare at me and there's a shiver down my spine. Suddenly, the butterflies slightly flatter harder in my stomach. The music starts. A flute hums through the silence, a cut through silk. I raise my hands, the large sleeves falling back to reveal my entire arm, a fan flaps in my hands. Looking down at my other hand, I raise that one as a chime starts up a tempo. I move my feet forward, dipping and lifting my body, swirling my body around, fans slapping around me. As the drums start, my feet start to move rapidly yet swiftly to the beat, my arms flapping and flaying around me, more like a swan than anything. My expressions matching the story I was depicting about a women, living in poverty. Powerless and hopeless in a cruel world. Then there came a day where she falls in love with a man, at this the music changed to a happy and excited yet a bittersweet symphony, my features turned lively and happy, my lips tilting only slightly with my eyes bright. But then, he was taken away from her. From the same gods that gave her life. The music turns slow and sad, clutching my heart even as I danced. My features displayed on my face about the sadness she felt, the hope she lost and the love she never truly got enough of. The tempo changed to something faster and dramatic as the women finds she's pregnant. She searches everywhere for a job or some spare money to feed her coming child, but she is left with nothing. _A cruel world_. I twirl around, air whooshing past my ears at the rapid spin. _A cruel world_. The baby is born but he's sick. I twirl and glide my feet and dance to the other side of the stage. _A cruel world_. The baby is crying. I dance back to the baby, my fans flapping around me._ A cruel world._ My baby is dead. I fall down in a heap on the floor, my hands splayed in front of me. Silence fills the hall as the music stops, the last beat echoing lowly in the hall.

_Such a cruel world_.

I close my eyes and raise only the upper portion of my body back into itself as I lift my hands that clutch my fans above me as the bitter music starts again, reciting it's final notes. Arching my back as my breasts press against the material of my kimono, my hands raised, my wrists soft and my skin fair. I fall back slowly as the music starts to comes to an end, my head thrown back, almost touching the soles of my feet and my hands stretched behind me. The music stops with a last chime. The hall is silent as I raise my body back up, pick up my fans and get to my feet. Without a bow I leave the stage and hear the first cheer go off as the rest of the crowd follows the applaud. I walk back to my makeup station, feeling a bucket of ice of what can be only referred to as relief flow through me. I sit down on my seat and put my face in my hands, breathing deeply. _Ichigo_. What did he think? Inoue, Hino, Matsumoto and Nell cam towards me. We congratulate each other and Matsumoto orders a girls to get them 5 cups of sake as celebration. We drink our share before the bidding time is announced. My breathing stops. Shit. I had completely forgotten about that. After all the dances, the girl went up on stage one by one and were sold to the highest bidder. It was the grand finale of the entire evening. Of course it wasn't our normal prices, we were raised a notch then sold to the person who would pay for them. My heart clenched at the thought of being sold to the highest bidder for a night of constant sex in front of Ichigo. My name was finally called. A thin sheen of sweat layered itself on my forehead as I stood in front of the crowd, nerves breaking out again. Aizen stood beside me, casual and handsome as always. He gives me a fake smile and I return a glare to him. He chuckles under his breath before turning to the crowd.

"We'll start with $1,000 on her."

A man at the back shoots his hand up.

"1,000 for you sir," Aizen pronounces business like, with a smile plastered to his face.

Another man from the opposite side of the room raises his hand. "150"

Aizen nods. "1,500, anyone else?"

"2,000."

"3,000"

"5,000"

"7,000"

The numbers keep building up and my eyes grow wider. Had my dance been that impressive? Aizen's smile faltered at the confusing number of people yelling out number, he puts both his hands up, his palms towards the crowd. "Okay, everybody, calm-"

"10,000."

My heart stops beating and my stomach drops to the ground as I see Ichigo come through the crowd. He had just bided me.

Aizen raises his eyebrows, looking at Ichigo up and down. "Are you sure about that young man?"

Ichigo glares at him and nods once, "I am."

They look at each other for a second, staring each other down when Aizen looks away. "Alright $10,000 for this beauty right here, going once, going twice. Sold to the gentlemen with the orange hair."

Ichigo gives Aizen a deadly stare as he approaches me. Each step he took made my heart beat twice fold, making me think I was on the verge of a heart attack. However, his eyes don't meet mine as he hands Aizen a check and takes hold of my arms. Yoruichi leads us to a guest room prepared for the biddings. It was a decent room with a large tatami mat and a low table with jug of sake and glasses. Yoruichi closes the door behind her after she makes Ichigo sign a few papers and we're both left.

_What now_?

We both stand in an awkward silence until Ichigo goes to the table and pours two cups of sake. I move towards him and take my glass, drinking the contents. My eyes are on him as he takes a huge gulp out of the glass, his Adams apple bobbing up and down, his face slightly flushed. The silence is killing me but I don't attempt to break it. Finally Ichigo lets out a nervous breath and turns to me. His eyes are blank and a fake smile adorns his face.

"I didn't bring any books today," he says.

I appraise him seriously. _Why was he like this_? I had never known a man to be as gentle and moral as he was. It made the devil in me want to taint him, to dirty his soul. To bring him down his high of ignorance. Why was he here? With me? Why would he be here when he had a family and an uncorrupted life? I take a step towards him and his eyes widen slightly as I place my hands between us and start unbuttoning his vest. He drops his wooden cup, it clatters and rolls on the ground as he grabs my small hands in his large ones. They feel so warm and firm that I almost stop. But I realize that I want this too much. I want him too much to stop now.

"Rukia, what-"

"You paid for this."

My voice is strong and harsh, contrasting perfectly with the weakness and helplessness I felt inside me. I pull my hands from his grip and grab to unbuckle his belt.

"R-rukia, stop it."

His breathing slows and I can feel his body heating against my touch as I unzip his pants and feel his member against his briefs. He lets out throaty moan and his cock hardens. I stroke it again, agonizingly slow. He bends his head forwards as his knees slightly buckle, his hot breath tickling my ear as he breaths my name. I shiver, making the space between my legs tingle with want. A whirling heat starts to building in my abdomen and I want him to take me this instant but I stop myself. I wanted to show him this world I lived in. We were different and I wanted to show him this difference.

His pureness and my filth.

He suddenly cups my face and tilts it to the side and kisses me full on the mouth. I moan when his rough tongue licks my bottom lip and I open my mouth so he can ravish me. I raise my hands and wond them around his neck, holding him closer to me. My body is starting to heat up and my kiss turns desperate. His hands run over the curves of my body agonizingly slow. We're both panting between our mouths with want. I pull back again and start to unbutton his vest to where I left off, then his shirt. He's breathing hard and he just stands there in front of me, his hands in fists. I finally pull his trousers down and he steps away from them. He's naked in front of me except for his briefs. My eyes travel over his abdomen where his muscles are formed like a sculpture and his flat chest, his wide shoulders and his desperate and lust filled eyes. He reaches foreword and tugs on the sash of my yukata. I start to help him as he leans foreword to kiss me again, sending a chill of heady lust down to my very core.

I take off my sash and pull off my yukata then my hakama and the rest of my clothes. I'm completely naked now. I hear his breathing turn heavier as he appraises me lustfully. My body tingles in want and my body heat everywhere his eyes touch. His gaze finally reaches mine and I look away from his heated stare. He breaths through his nose, his chest rising and falling, and raises his hands to cup my cheeks, lifting my face to his. I take his hand and pull him down above me over the tatami layed out on the floor. I lay down and look up at him through hazy eyes. He groans as he leans down and starts to kiss my neck, my hands start to travel down the length of his back, scratching it in an attempt to appease my want even the slightest. He nips and sucks as he travels down my skin. I moan as he cups my right breast and traces my round nipple with his tongue, using his other hand on my left nipple. My toes curl inward at the sensation, my pussy alredy dripping. I gasp as he bites down slightly and flicks his tongue on the nipple trapped between his teeth. Before I can tell him to stop torturing me, his head travels down my stomach, kissing and licking as he goes down my abdomen. He pulls my legs up as he bites and sucks on my thighs. I'm mewling like a cat and clenching his hair so hard I'm afraid I'll pull them right out. God I don't think I have ever wanted anything so bad. The world doesn't exist. It's only Ichigo and I. I guide his face to my center. Breathlessly, I look down at him. He raises his hooded eyes to mine, they're almost black and swirling like meling lava. He starts to lick my core and I feel like putty in his hands. I convulse slightly and he pushes my hips down as he licks and bites at my sensitive nub. I moan and gasp and clutch harder at his hair. Just as suddenly, I feel him plunge his finger inside me, I double over, then arch my back at the sensation.

"Ah, Oh. Mmm."

I move my hips to start meeting his finger, he adds another, intensifying the feeling. I feel myself building, I'm so close. I bite my lower lip in an attempt to quieten my constant moans and squeeze my eyes shut. I come onto his hands with a loud moan. I fall slack against the ground, my energy seemingly spent at the inredible orgasm. I still feel the high though and I want him inside me. He licks up my juices as I pant myself to life again. He kisses up my body until his eyes are in level with mine. I see the pained looked in his eyes of him holding back for too long. I push his chest and roll him over, straddling his hip, his member straining against his briefs just beneath my rear. I bend down and start kissing him neck, licking and sucking. I reach a sensitive spot just below his ear and he lets out a throaty moan as I leave a hickey there. I travel down and give his nipple the same treatment as he gave mine, licking and circling and biting them with my tongue as he groans and gasps my name under me. I do the same to his other nipple. He's moving uncomfortably underneath me to alleviate some of the strain and need of his cock. I look up at him through heavy eyelids at my position on his nipple and grind my body against his member. He throws his head back and he gasps my name out breathlessly. I straighten up and do it again, his hands grab my thigh, tightening them until I'm sure I'll have bruises tomorrow.

"Rukia, stop that."

"Or what?" I asked, my voice husky and mischievous as I do it again, reaching around slide my hand over the cloth. He lets out a carnal moan and flips our positions over, pulling his briefs down and taking the underside of my knee and pulling it up before he plunges his throbbing cock into my wet pussy. I cry out in sheer pleasure. He was huge. I could feel him touch me in the most intimate way, filling me up to the brim. He doesn't move for a while, letting me adjust. I open my eyes to look at him. His eyelids are heavy and his gaze is full of lust as he gazes down at my naked body. But there's a hint of something else…guilt? Worry?

"Are you alright?"

I'm breathing too hard and my mind is too high on pleasure to understand what he's saying.

"Your so tight, I didn't hurt you did I?"

Why, even now, did he have to be like this? I could see it, his instinctual urgency to find some semblance of release, no matter how carnal the means. But it was him. It was Ichigo who reigned his instinct down and asked the whore if she was alright. I almost laughed. I almost cried. Instead I move out of him and push back. We both let out a simultaneous moan.

"Ride me."

He lets out another groan and starts to do just that. I let out a sudden scream as he reaches the bundle of nerves inside me, touching it over and over again as he pumps into me.

"There, there, oh yes, right there. Don't stop. Oh."

He moans and starts pumping into me harder and faster as we both start to climb higher. Moaning and gasping between kisses. I wouldn't be surprised if the entire inn heard us. We're both reaching our peak when I hear his voice.

"Rukia, say my name."

So close. So close.

"Rukia."

Moan.

"Rukia."

I'm almost there.

"Rukia."

Gasp.

"Ichigo. Ichigo. Ichigo. Ichigo. Ichigo."

He latches his teeth to the side of my neck as he let's out a loud groan and fills me as we both come at the same time. I scream to the heavens as my mind blanks and my vision blurs and splotches of white are clouded in front of me. We both regain out breathing as he slump on top of me. After a few moments, I try to push his weight off and he turns to lay beside me. Both of us breathing hard, looking at nothing in particular. His breathing becomes deeper and synchronized, I turn to see that he's fallen asleep. And that's how I spent the next moments of my life. Memorizing his sleeping face. His sinfully innocent face.

* * *

><p><strong>(AN) Ugh, i find that reading sex scenes are better than writing them. I feel so awkward and weird while im doing it. but i try so dont be so hard on me. anyways, I tried to copy the dance from Memoirs of a Geisha because I found it very beautiful. thanks for reading, until next time. Reviews are VEERRRRRRYYYYYY appreciated and motivational for me to update quicker -_-**


	7. Chapter 7

**The Raven-7**

I woke up to the smell of jasmine and the warmth of a small body hugging my waist, a small head laying on my shoulder. I inhaled the scent of her hair and a sweet ache formed in my chest. I recalled the events of last night. I don't think I have ever come so hard before in my life. I didn't have a history of sleeping with women, unlike Grimmjow. I could count all the women I had slept with on one hand, each of which were very dear to me. The first took my virginity, she was my tutor and I had developed feelings for her in my teenage mind. The second was Senna, who was just curious of the act that her friends were talking about and since I was the only boy she trusted she asked me to have sex with her. The other two were women I had met in America, both of which were very good friends of mine. I had, without a doubt, never felt the intense passion for any of them then I had felt for this little doe sleeping in my arms.

_Well she is an expert. _I ignored the crude thought and recalled the way she had screamed my name in the height of ecstasy, the way I had come so hard into her when she called me desperately to release her. I felt the familiar twinge in my cock and blushed that the mere thought of her panting face and heaving body had my member twitching. My fingers clenched slightly to lessen the effect of desire that wracked my body, but it suddenly became impossible when my senses heightened to the naked body of the women attached to mine, her breasts pushed up against me and her warm arm across my waist. She must have noted my discomfort and the stiffness my body had taken because she suddenly roused from her sleep and looked up at me with hooded eyes. Was it possible to become harder?

She detached herself from me and sat up, rubbing her hands over her eyes and stretching her body, the blanket covering her thin frame falling down, revealing her small curves and pert breasts for my eyes to feast on. If I didn't know any better I'd say she enjoyed teasing me. She turned to me finally, grinning mischievously when she noticed my eyes darkened by lust and a very prominabt tent on my nether regions. She came foreword, leaning on one hand and pecked me on the mouth. I had been slightly anxious to see her reaction to last night. I had enjoyed it, thouroughly, but I didn't know how Rukia would behave towards me after that. My heart lifted imensely at her actions. I leaned in for more but she pulled away, the sly glint still present in her eyes as she started to stand up, wrapping the blanket around her frame. Like hell I'd let the tease run away like that. I grabbed her wrist and pulled her down to me, smirking at her surprised gasp. I roll her over so I'm hovering over her, my hands on either side of her head.

"Did you really think you could get away?" I ask, lowering my head, hovering my lips just above hers, tickling them slightly.

"I honestly did," she replies, closing her eyes as she unconsciously brings her lips to mine but I pull away just out of reach.

"Your gonna have to try harder than that," I whisper in her ear, rewarded with a shiver. I kiss her full lips then, heat igniting like a match between us as her arms around my neck pull me closer to her. I'm hard as a rock already and I use my hands to rip off the sheets that are around her body. I position myself as she spreads her legs open for me and enter her with a moan. God, she was as tight as last night. I hadn't expected that and was surprised when my length fit almost too perfectly inside her. My mind blank and exploded in ecstasy as I pulled back and slammed into her again. Her warm pussy pulling me in and gripping me like a vice. Her moans fill my ears and it's almost enough to draw me over the edge. She suddenly uses her hands on my chest to push me on my back so she can stradle me, my erection still inside her. Her eyes are dimmed and her pouty mouth open in lust. She lifts the side of her lips in a small smirk and raises her hip, arching her back before slamming down. My eyes roll to the back of my head in ecstasy. the penetration even deeper than before. She lets out moans and starts to ride my cock. Her breasts bouncing in their perked state. I place my hands on her hips and start to lift and bring her down faster. She choked on her moans as I fill her insides to the brim.

"I-ichigo," Oh shit. My dick throbs inside her as she moans my name. She leans forward and rests her hands on each side of my face, her features contorted in painful pleasure.

"Shit Rukia, what are you doing to me?" I voice out huskily, my throat clogged in desire and lust.

She moans though she can't even hear me in her state of pleasure. I pull my face up and suck her right nipple into my mouth.

"Uhnnn," she moans and arches her back as I bite the nub harshly. "Oh fuck. S-so good, Ichigo."

I groan and pull her nipple harshly one last time before letting go. I reach for her face and she meets me half-way in a searing and desperate kiss.

"Ichigo," She says, pulling away, leaning back up. I would never get tired of her saying my name I decided. "I'm go-gonna come."

I use my hands to fuck her faster. With a few more moans, she comes with a scream, her head thrown back and her eyes wide open. My eyes clench as her walls close tightly around me and groan loudly as my orgasm hits me. She's still for a few deep breaths and then falls on my chest. We're both breathing hard and fast. She pulls out of me, some of my cum leaking out as she rolls to my side, her chest rising and falling in heavy pants.

When our breathing has finally lowered and I can't feel my heart beating heavily in my ear, Rukia gets up. Her legs are shaky as she walks to a door at the other end of the room.

"Rukia?" I ask as she heads to the door.

"I'm taking a shower."

With that she leaves me. I get up when I hear the splash of water and walk to the bathroom to join her. My dick already hard as I imagine the water trickling down her naked body.

* * *

><p>I can't remember the last time I had felt so…light. Stress-free. Sex could do that to you. But really good sex can leave you smiling like an idiot. Giving yourself relief was enough but it would never give me the pleasure that Rukia would. I could feel the strain on my briefs again as I recalled the way I had taken her again against the wall of the bathroom, my body pinned to hers as I entered her. I don't know where this desire had come from, this insatiable desire. All I wanted to do was have sex with her all day. Stay in bed and have glorious sex through all hours of the day. Rukia was sore after that bathroom escapade so I promised to be back later. And I would be back later. God I couldn't get enough of her. It was the first day and I couldn't understand where the power to become this hard had come from. Just as my eyes reached the roof of my house I heard my name being called. I turn to Grimmjow as he jogs up to me, a wide smirk on his face. The same idiot smile I had on only a few seconds ago.<p>

"Yo," I say, eyeing his suspiciously. "What's wrong with you?"

He blinks and falls in step with me as I walk to my house. "What do you mean? I feel great."

"Yeah, why?"

His smirk widens. "Cause I got some last night, and by that stupid ass smile on your face I'd say you did too."

I could help the heat that came to my face at his statement.

He throws his head back and lets out a bellow of laughter as I blush harder in embarrassment. "Virgin finally grew some balls."

"Shut up Grimmjow before I knock _your_ balls off."

He continues smirking. I turn away from his smirking face. "So, who were you with?" I ask, trying to distract that smirking idiot I called my friend. He pulls his hands behind his head, leaning it back into his palms.

"Nell."

"…"

"Neliel."

Still nothing.

"Your bitch's friend. The one with the sea-green hair," he says between his gritted teeth.

I glare at him. "She's not my bitch, dickhead. And if you say that again I'll fucking beat your ass," the threat came out harsher than I intended and his eyebrow rises. After a few seconds he shrugs.

"No need to get pissy on me. You didn't remember Nell's name."

"Well I won't forget next time. Just don't call her that."

He nods, looking at me from the corner of his eye contemplatively. I ignore him and keep walking. That nod was the closest to an apology I would get from him.

"I forgot that when it comes to peoples names, you've got a memory spam worse than a goldfish."

I let out a laugh, the atosphere between us lifting considerably as we finally reach my house. It was when I saw a familiar automobile on my driveway that the laughter died in my throat. Grimmjow looks at me confused and realization dawns on him when the owner of the car appears at the door, a obvious frown on her face, her eyes dark in anger.

"Senna," I breath out, my heart jumping and coiling in guilt and embarrassment. How could I have forgotten? How could I have let lust drive my senses away like that? I was engaged. Engaged to the most beautiful women in the world and I was spending my night at a whore house. I felt bile rise to my throat and guilt knaw on my insides until I felt naked and bare. I saw Grimmjow clench his jaw at the realization of the situation I found myself in.

"Ichigo," she addresses, looking me straight in the eyes, "Where have you been?"

I can't answer, I can't open my mouth, all I can do is flop my lips like a guppy. Her eyes narrow at the look of guilt on my face.

"He was with me."

I turn to Grimmjow, he had his arms crossed and looked at Senna through narrowed eyes. I knew he had always hated Senna, ever since we were children. When I had told him about our impending marriage he had shook his head in wonderment, but supported me as I was his best friend, though he said he would help me choose my second wife. He told me that he thought that under all that beauty she was more evil than any women and more of a slut than any whore.

_"At least whores show what they are, she's just hides herself under that stupid mask of innocence. And it pisses me off."_

As he had told me a few years ago. I knew he didn't like her, but did he hate me enough to jeopardize our relationship just to piss her off. Senna's eyes narrow at him next. She probably hadn't even noticed him there, and that would probably piss Grimmjow off even more.

"And why was he with you?" she lets a bit of venom slip into her voice. I turn to Grimmjow, my eyes pleading with him to have mercy on me. _I don't know what had come over me. I didn't know, I won't do it again. Please don't tell her. _I told him through my eyes.

"He came to pick me up from a bar last night when I passed out and took me home. It was late so he stayed over."

My jaw falls slightly. He had said this with so much conviction that _I_ almost believed him. Senna eyes returned to me, lighting up and a smile graceing her lips.

"Well, you should have told me," she said, coming towards me, "I know you worry but I think drunkards would in fact be better of dead."

"Why you-"

I turn a pleading face to Grimmjow as the words escape his mouth and he rolls his eyes, turning around and walking away.

"I'm going to Nell," he said for me to hear. A twinge of jealousy appeared in my heart as I looked at the care-free attitude of my friend. No restrictions, no responsibilities. He could come and go as he pleased. _If only I could do that, than I could meet Rukia any time._ I shook the thought out of my head and turned back to my fiancé who had attached herself to my forearm. She smiled up at me and I couldn't help but smile back.

"Come inside Ichigo, I made you brownies."

* * *

><p>[<strong>Grimmjow POV<strong>]

That stupid ugly women. The heck was wrong with her. I should go back and kick her ass, the hell to her being a female or Ichigo's fiancé. I couldn't help the twinge of sympathy I felt for the guy. He had finally gone to the whore house on his own after so many years of being a dumb pussy and found himself a decent lay. If I know Ichigo, _and I know Ichigo_, he was probably berating himself for being with a prostitute all night with his future wife at the back of his conscious. But that wasn't even the worst part, far from it. Lots of men, including married men, went to whore houses, they were forgiven countless times by their wives because it's in them to fuck everything that walks and only rarely do wives capture their husbands attention throughout their married lives. Ichigo, on the other hand, had fallen for his lay. Hard. Excuse the pun.

I saw the way he looked at her during that dinner we had. Their shared looks and silent conversation. As if there was no one in the room. As if no one mattered. And that other night where the girls had danced on stage, Ichigo had looked away embarrassed for most of the girl displaying everything out in the open on stage. Hell, I almost came with the look on Nell's face when she dance with her sexy body. I remember moaning when her eyes had met mine in the middle of her performance and that's when I knew I would be the highest bidder for her. But when that midget girl came on stage, Ichigo wouldn't look away. I even tried calling his name in the middle, right in his ear and he didn't even flinch, his eyes were wide and his mouth hanging open slightly. What a moron. Hell, he had left when that big-breasted blond girl came on stage for a drink of sake but he was fully enraptured by the celestial dance by that amethyst eyed girl. When the bidding started, he gave every man who called out for a bidding on her a death glare. I stayed out of their proximity because I had known first hand that if Ichigo was angry, he was angry. Not that I wouldn't love a fight with the guy but never over a women. The inn came into view and my pants tightened when I recalled the way I had fucked Nell in every position imaginable in one night, how she was so sore and tired she had lost consciousness when she had come for the final time that night. I had woken up the next morning, my hands and feet strapped to the headboard and Nell standing over me. She called it 'punishment' and I don't think I would ever find another women like her again. She was pricey, but goldsmith was she worth it.

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><p>He hadn't come. It was almost midnight and Ichigo hadn't come. He had said he would, he had said it with promise in his voice before he had left in the morning. My hope and excitement dwindled and turned sour as the hours of the night went by. I had decided to go on a walk to the bakery. This time of day, their crème puffs were cheapest and that's when I would go and buy them as an indulgence. I had brought an extra one for Ichigo if he would come and if not, I would eat it myself. Last night had been the best night of my life. I had never known that sex could actually be so...satisfying. I had never had an orgasm during sex before. I had masturbated but I didn't enjoy it much. This is the first time I had ever felt this way. I started to wonder if it really was the sex or if it was with the person I was having it with?<p>

_Ichigo_.

Just thinking about him made my heart clench and my mind haze. I shake my head away from the thought and start my walk back to the Inn with my creme puffs in the paper bag in hand. Halfway there, a hand suddenly grabs my forearm and yanks me into a narrow dark alley. I drop my bag and it took a few seconds for my mind to adjust to what had just happened and for my eyes to fix on the burly man in front of me, pinning me against the wall, his hands over my small throat.

"Give me your money."

It wasn't my first time being mugged but when I saw the flash of a knife in his hands I couldn't stopped the fear that flowed through my veins. I reached down and pull out what little money I had under my sash. He looks at the coins and throws them at my face, clutching my neck harder.

"You making fun of me, huh bitch?"

I tried to calm down, I was afraid but I didn't show it. That would probably encourage him. I open my mouth to answer him but my throat is dry. I shiver once and swallow.

"I….I don't have…." I let out in a small voice. He pulls me back and slams be against the wall, I gasp as the wind is knocked out of me.

"You lying bitch."

My hands try to scratch his hands that hold my throat, he reaches back and slaps me. I try to push him off, ignoring the stinging of my cheeks.

"I know you have it on you somewhere, I'm just gonna have to strip you to find it."

My eyes widen as his hands squeeze my breasts and begin to untie my sash.

"Stop, let me go. I told you I don't have anything."

I try to kick him but he just pins my legs down with his thighs and continues untying my sash.

"Why don't you let the girl go?"

I blink at the voice that comes from the opening of the alleyway.

"Get lost fucker, this girl's mine."

I try to speak but before I can, the man come foreword into the alley.

"I don't think so. Cause it just so happens, my buddy already called dibs."

"What the fuc-"

But the large man didn't get to finish his sentence when my rescuer suddenly kicks his face in, sending him flying to the side. I gasp as the wind of the attack flips my hair, but other than that, I'm unharmed. I raise my hands to put my clothes back together. He comes back to me and I see the larger man on the floor, passed out. He grabs my hand.

"Come on."

I follow him out the alley and into the light and finally see the teal color of his heavy hair.

"You!" I gasp out.

He turns to smirk at me. "Who did you expect? Prince charming."

_No, I had expected Ichigo_. Even though I didn't say that out loud, I knew our mind were on the same line of thought. I look down at our intertwined hands, I notice he has a tight grip on me, I only then realize that I'm shaking hard. He looks at my hands then at my face, his features blank but his eyebrows creased.

"Hey, don't go scared and whiny on me midget, I don't do that shit."

I glare at him, still shaking in my skin. "The hell I would idiot. And who you calling midget, blueberry."

He smirks in amusement and tugs my hand to follow him. Though he may act vicious, his actions were gentle. Even with my hand in his I felt like a little sister walking home with her big brother. The thought calmed my nerves and my shaking.

We reach the inn when I let out an annoyed grunt, he turns to me slightly surprised as if I was going into shock or a panic attack.

"My damn crème puffs."

He scrunches his eyes together and looks at me like I'm crazy, taking a step away from me. I roll my eyes at him. "That's what I had in that bloody paper bag. I'm gonna fucking kill that overgrown buffoon."

A few seconds of silence pass before he throws his head back and lets out a deep laugh as I fume in my spot.

"I don't see what's so funny?"

"Now I understand why Ichigo is so attached to you," he says, his laughter dying down.

I blink at him as a blush appears on my cheeks. A blush he obviously sees and gives a knowing smirk. I turn my eyes away. "Whatever."

"Ok ok stop being so mad over the damn puffs. I'll get you another batch."

I turn my eyes to him suspiciously. "Really?"

He shrugs, looking away. I don't know this person. You could say we were aquaintences but I could see a bit of Ichigo inside of him. His temper at least and their love for making fun of my height. I let a smile grace my face. It was thanks to people like them that I hadn't gone completely insane in this world I lived in.

I nod at him and he turns away to leave.

"Thank you," I call. He raises his hand back to me in a wave or a salute, I can't be sure.

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><p><strong>(AN) thank you all for the reviews and the faves and alerts. Especially reviews, I love waking up in the morning and finding a new review on this story. Its my first time writing something like this and you guys seriosuly encourage me to do my best. Love you all XD**


	8. Chapter 8

**(A/N) this chappy is dedicated to all those who reviewed and a certain zombiegirl22 who inquired about my whereabouts to see if i was dead or dying. Thank you for the concern love :) hope you like the update **

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><p><strong>The Raven-8<strong>

I hadn't gone back to the Inn for three days. And everyday, it became harder not being able to see Rukia. But every time I would think that, I would be consumed with guilt as the image of my fiancé, my Senna, would come to mind. I had obligations, responsibilities I needed to fulfill for my future family. I had to control the lust inside me for Rukia that kept me up at night trying to find even an ounce of the same pleasure as she would give me. To no avail. And then there was Senna as well, who was becomming increasingly obvious in her forwardness. I started to notice how the necklines for her dresses were getting lower and her touches were becomming more constant. She would flirt and bat her eyes at me, making advances and even going out of her way to try and kiss me. I had obliged as best I could but still felt uncomfortable with her advances. I had told her that things could wait until after our marriage. She gave me an incredulous look, telling me that we were practically already married. Still, I had stopped her by turning away and leaving her to fume. I couldn't bear the constant stabs of guilt and worry over my intended. I had gone to Grimmjows house by the fourth day. When I told him of my predicament he narrowed his eyes at me.

"You haven't gone to see Rukia?"

I shake my head, noticing the slight worry in his voice. Grimjow hardly ever worried. "No."

He looks at me for a second before nodding, looking down, his arms crossed as he leans back. "So you don't know what happened to her?"

My eyes widen and my heart flips at his words. I start thinking the worse and will myself not to panic. "What? What happened to her?"

He sighs and runs a hand through his hair, scrawling at my reaction and that he would have the displeasure of telling me his next words. "She was almost attacked."

"WHAT? What the fuck?"

"Ichigo calm down."

"How do I calm down. Is she okay? Where is she?"

"She's at the Inn. Nothing happened to her though."

"Why the hell didn't you tell me?" my voice is harsh, irrationally letting my anger out on my friend. His eyes narrow and he stands up imposingly, letting me know he wasn't going to take my shit.

"I saved her ass, if you wanted to know. I haven't seen you in 4 days you bastard and I thought you had gone to see her which you've been doing for almost every night now for the past 2 months."

He was right, my anger slightly deflated. I turn around and leave his house, my feet guiding me to the inn, the direction to the building carved into my mind. When I finally arrive, I head straight to her room, letting Yoruichi know that I was here. I find her sitting on the table, reading a book I had brought for her. Such a familar sight that my heart melts at the nostalgia created. She looks up from her reading and I can tell from her expression that she's surprised to see me. Seeing her again, her small yet supple frame, her wide doe eyes and her full mouth, parted in surprise, had me hardening painfully. She got up from her place and approached me.

"Ichig-"

Without a thought, I push her harshly against the wall. Before her head comes into contact with the wall with a thud, I'm kissing her beautiful lips senseless, delving my tongue into her warm mouth when she gasps in pain or surprise I can't tell. I remove her clothes desperately, like a man in need of water after walking in circles around the scorching dessert. I hear her clothes rip in my attempt and her hands work just as desperately on my trouser. When she's finally bare in front of me, I pick her up, she wraps her legs around my hips, her hands circling my shoulders. I pull my trousers and underwear the rest of the way down, after which I enter her with a loud grunt. Her moans fill the room as I start pushing in and out of her, her fingernails digging into my shoulders, createing cresent shaped marks on my shoulder. Heat pools in my abdomen and I thrust in and out of her with abandon. It's almost painful to experience this much pleaure. Being inside her warm and wet heat, I could hardly breath. I bend foreword to kiss her lips, moving my hand between us, I caress her quivering nub. She lets out a gasping moan, calling my name. I go faster, harder. I felt like an animal, with no rational thought, only my own release inside her. She comes a few seconds after me. I slide out of her and gently as I can, I pull her down onto the floor. Cupping her face in my hands, I kiss her, my length already aching for more. I pull my shirt off and lay her down so that I can enter her again after another round of fervent kissing. But it wasn't doing my cock any good. Every time we finished, I had it hardening on me after 5 minutes. Making up for lost times it seems. It was ridiculous, the number of times I took her, my mind too muddled to count. Rukia didn't say anything to me, albeit the sound of heated sex and my name she let out during our activities.

We were so exhausted I don't even remember when I had fallen into an exhausted sleep in the middle of the night. I woke up with a slight chill wrapped around me, having me shivering on the tatami mat. I roll my body over, searching for the blanket when I catch sight of Rukia, awake and leaning against the wall beside her window, looking out at the expanse of scenery. The moon casting a warm blue glow on her serene face. Her naked body exposed except for the light blanket laid on her waist. I freeze at the sight of her face. I don't know if it was the trick of the light or my exhausted mind but something warm and strong grips hold and melts my heart like heated wax, leaving me slightly breathless and light headed. I blink at the foreign and slightly pleasurable feeling. After a moment of thought, I cast my eyes back to her. Beautiful seems to be the only word that could label her, still the word seemed to not do her justice. I can't believe I ever thought her as simply pretty. I relaxed my posture, staring at her like it was the most natural thing, like I couldn't get enough. Drinking up her beauty. After a while, goosebumps appear on my bare arms because of the cold, she hadn't seen me yet.

"You really like the view from there don't you?" I ask in a small voice, regrettable breaking the silent and peaceful atmosphere of the room. She turns to me, her hair slightly dishevelled making her look years younger, her eyes bright and shining so like the stars she'd been looking at. I feel myself grow hard again, but there was something else, some foreign and unknown feeling knawing at my heart. Then my breath hitches and my heart stops, as does the world for a second. All when the raven smiles at me. Her face tilting slightly to the side, a deeper twinkle appearing in her eyes, a small bittersweet smile on her face, a distant look in her eyes. My heart falters and makes up for the beats missed as my face heats slightly. I suddenly wanted this moment to never end. This moment with Rukia as I stare at her.

"It's my favourite."

She turns back, a ghost of her previous smile still in place. My heart still pounding I wait for my muscles to relax before I speak again. "I see."

We succumb into silence as the sun rises for another day gone, spent with Rukia.

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><p>I had returned home after another few rounds with Rukia. She fell asleep as I finished dressing myself. Looking back I wished I had stayed longer. Her inviting body was covered by a thin white cloth, her hair splayed around her face and the floor, her breathing slow and long with the rise and fall of her chest and the occasional twitch of her hands that lay on the floor above her head. I don't know where the willpower to leave that sleeping beauty came from, maybe the knife of guilt that stabbed me as I thought of Senna. I run a hand through my orange tresses in frustration. I was on dangerous grounds, Rukia had become a large part of my life, a very large part. With each day that passed spent with Rukia, I fell deeper into my feelings for her. I look up at the sky and sigh, I wish I could figure out where to go from here. Senna wasn't waiting for me at my house this time. Instead, I found my father in the kitchen sitting quietly which was such an odd sight from his over cheery self that I had asked him if he was feeling alright.<p>

"There's something I want to talk to you about," he says to me after a sigh, turning to face me. Only rarely did my dad show his serious face around the house but when he did it deserved the full attention of the one on the receiving end. I sit down on the chair across him. A few moments are passed in silence for such a long time I start to wonder if he's forgotten I'm sitting there.

"Ichigo."

I look to the impassive face of my father, his eyes don't waver from mine. He takes a deep breath and I let him talk.

"I… was once engaged to someone in my younger years. I wasn't happy with the engagement but duties of necessities are completely different from duties of the heart. I fell in love with your mother the night before my marriage. It was love at first sight and I dropped my entire life so I could spend the rest of my days with Misaki."

He pauses, waiting for me to take everything in. My face remains straight and my eyes remain on his, willing him to continue. He sighs, running a hand through his hair, a habit I had unconsciously picked up in my younger years.

"There isn't a day I regret eloping with Misaki. Not one day passes where I wish I had followed my duties instead of my heart. And the day you, Karin and Yuzu were born, I knew that spending my life with Misaki was the best decision of my life."

Another pause. He looks down at his drink. I feel a tightening in my throat at his words, and a lump the size of a cotton ball stuffed down my esophogus.

"Your engagement with Senna is an arrangement between families, but I also know that you did love Senna once in your life."

I frown at him. "Once?"

He looks away, "You are not obligated to marry her if you don't want to Ichigo. I pride myself as a father to give my children choices I never had. "

He waits for my reply, but what can I tell him. Deep inside I know he's right. I may have loved Senna once and even taken something very important from her but when I think about who I want to spend the rest of my life with a certain black haired beauty with eyes more beautiful then diamonds came to mind immediately, making my face flush like a teenage virgin. But how could I tell my dad that? My father would not be so lenient on my having feelings for someone in a brothel. Life hardly worked that way. And I'm hardly _in_ love with Rukia….

"I do love Senna dad. I'm very happy with the engagement."

His eyes raise to mine and after a few seconds he nods his head. Though a certain hint of doubt colors his eyes.

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><p>"Rukia, can we come in?"<p>

I turn to the door from where I'm sitting by the fire I have started to warm my room up. Nell waves at me, Grimmjow stands behind her, his signature scrawl marring his features. I can't help but smile at them and nod for them to come in. Turning around, I come to sit on the cushion across from them.

"I brought your crème puffs," says Grimmjow, looking anywhere but at me.

My eyes widen as he hands me a white box. I can feel the warmth of the food inside seep through the thin cardboard into my hands. I look at Grimmjow, his scrawl still in place.

"You got this for me?" I ask, incredulous.

He lifts his hand and scratches the back of his head. "Yeah, well, I promised ya didn't I?"

I stare at him, furrowing my brows. He promised me? I remember our conversation the day he had saved me from that fat pervert. He had said something about getting them for me but it was hardly a promise. And anyway, who kept their promises these days anyway. It was just a few cheap crème puffs, but he had gone through the trouble to get fresh ones. I smile at him.

"Arigatou Grimmjow."

He rolls his eyes, "Yeah yeah."

"But I feel I'm the one who owes you something being as you're the one who saved me."

He turns to me this time, the concealed shyness gone, replaced with a smirk and a raised eyebrow. "Oh I can think of a few ways you can repay me."

Nell slaps the back of his head, he puts a hand behind his head, messaging the pain away. He glares at Nell with angry eyes, "Hey," he growls.

"Behave," she tells him, her eyes hard.

I almost laugh at them, they look like a pair of old married couples. Just a few seconds later, I hear footsteps before a knock on my door. Matsumotos head appears, followed by Orihime's then Hinamori's all beneath the other.

"We heard you got crème puffs."

I do let a laugh out of me this time. They all look at me surprised as I shake in laughter at the ridiculous looks on their faces. Nell was the second to laugh then the rest of the girls as they come in. Grimmjow just shakes his head in disbelief at our stupidity. I open the box when the three women come and sit beside me and we all gasp simultaneously at the rectangular golden brown bread with a puff of whip crème leaking out the end. My taste buds explode and saliva pools my mouth as I stare at the heavenly food. It wasn't often we at the Inn got something remotely indulgant to eat. Though some would think we got all the delicacies to keep us happy or as presents. We didn't. The last time I had these was when I had a few extra change in my pocket and even then, I got stale old pastries. This was a delicacy and I turn to Grimmjow and thank him again. Everybody says the same after me. Nell turns to him smiling and I wasn't the only one that saw the tint of pink his cheeks took, even more visible in contrast with his bright hair. We each got one and ate them together. When we were finished Grimmjow got up, licking a piece of whip on the side of Nell's mouth like it was the most natural thing. Smirking when he saw her blush, they both left for some 'unfinished business' as Grimmjow put it.

"Nell really nailed him didn't she," Matsumoto says, licking the tips of her fingers for some remains of creme. We all nod in agreement.

"I think she's as far along as he is," I say. We all nod again.

"Almost like Kurosaki," Matsumoto says, leaning back, smirking at me. When I don't give her an angry retort back she looks at me worriedly. I occupy myself by closing the now empty box which had held the crème puffs.

"Rukia?" Orihime asks worriedly.

I sigh. "I haven't seen Ichigo for a week now."

They look at each other worriedly. It wasn't a big deal that a client wasn't coming back after a few bouts of sex, but this was Ichigo. He wasn't a normal client, not to me anyway.

"After that day of the dance, he left for an entire week. He came last week for a night then leaves again after a night of fucking."

Hinamori and Orihime's eye twitch at my anger, which is mounting. "He's playing with my feelings. He knows what he does to me. He must know how I feel, he knows I miss him. He just loves playing with me. He's just like every other disgusting, brutish, vulgar man I know."

I breath heavily as I end my rant. They all stare at me with pity in their eyes. I look away, I didn't want pity, I wanted Ichigo. I wanted him here. I was sick of lying and finding excuses for myself. Yes, I admitted to myself. I wanted Ichigo. I wanted him here, with me. But that was asking for the impossible, especially for a girl like me.

"He'll come back Rukia, wait and see," Matsumoto assures me, a small smile lighting her face. I stare at her determined and unwavering eyes. I smile back at her, and nod. Hinamori smiles at me as Orihime leans foreward to hug me. I hug her back.

"It'll work out. You'll see," Orihime whispers into my ears.

"If worse comes to worse," Hinamori lets in as Orihime pulls away, "You have us."

I nod at her, doing nothing to hide the tears that forms at their concern and love for me. "You'll always have us," Matsumoto promises.

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><p><strong>(AN) im sorry for the late update, ive been busy and theres this whole deleting thing going on here on ffnet. i dont really get it but anyway, i love you all. please reveiew so you get a quicker update mua ha ha ha :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**(A/N) There will probably be alot of mistakes in this one cause i hardly read it over, but i wanted to leave this cause im going on a trip. ;love you guys for the comments and faves. hearts to all. have a good canada day XD**

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><p><strong>The Raven- 9<strong>

"Ichigo, what do you think?" Senna asks as she pulls an earring to her earlobe. I smile at her enthusiasm and nod.

"It's nice."

She pouts at me. "You said that for the last 5 earrings I tried on."

"Well, they all look good on you."

She rolls her eyes and tells the clerk she'll take all 6 she's tried on. I'm going to be a poor man by the time this shopping spree is over. We exit the jewellery store and head down to the tailor, passing a mob of people selling or buying their own goods. My arms strain and my muscles scream in agony with the mountain of lace and clothes and jewellery and hats and other miscellaneous items I was carrying in my arms since our trip started. Senna had gone all out today. She said she needed to prepare for the wedding but heaven knows why she needed 6 pairs of earrings for a single day. I sigh in relief as the tailor comes into view. Senna needed to get her sizes done today so she had asked me to come since all her girl friends had been busy. Suddenly the Urahara book store loomed into my view. My heart quickened at the prospect or even a chance of seeing her here. With a wayward glance at Senna, I crane my neck to get a better look at the interior of the shop. It seems to be empty except for the lone figure of Urahara hunched over on his desk, writing something on a parchment. I turn away, ignoring the twinge of disappointment as well as the topic of conversation Senna has started, to meet a pair of amethyst eyes looking my way.

"Rukia," I exclaim, surprised. Senna whips her head to me, irritated because I hadn't been listening to her and confused to what I had said.

"What?" she asks before looking at the petite girl standing in front of us. She had been heading into the shop, her hand had already pulled the door halfway when I had called her name. My heart skipped a beat and my eyes brightened at seeing her after so long. 13 days to be exact. Each day I had been trying to ignore and push down the nagging of my consciousness to go visit the raven. I had gone through 13 days, my will and guilt winning over my other emotions. But one look at her right now and those 13 days worth of built-up strength washed away and I wanted to take her here, on the street. It was amazing how the world seemed so insignificant when I looked into her eyed. Sennas arm tightening around mine brought me back to reality. I didn't notice I had been staring at Rukia. Senna's eyes on me. I tried to cover the blush that was starting to paint my cheeks at my stupidity by coughing.

"Good evening Rukia."

Rukia nods, her face deprived of any and all emotions. "Good evening Ichigo."

An awkward silence descended as we all stared at each other. Say something, I told myself.

"U-um how are you?"

"Good. You?" she asks, the same blank expression on her face.

I nod. "I'm ok. Are you…here getting a book?" _Baka, she didn't have enough money to buy a book._

"No."

Awkward silence. Cough. I notice Senna still staring between Rukia and I and I suddenly with a giant hole would open up and swallow me into the earth.

"Oh sorry Senna, Rukia this is Senna. Senna this is Rukia. She's… a friend."

Senna smiles widely at Rukia, a smile I had come to understand, was fake and got under my skin. Rukia looked impassive but nodded.

"It's nice to meet you Rukia, I'm-"

"Ichigo is that you?"

Urahara's voice interrupted Senna and she scrawled as Urahara's head appeared at the door. He appraised the situation and Ichigo had never wanted to punch anyone so badly when he gave him a knowing smirk. "Ichigo, I have to ask you something, will you come in here for a second?"

"I don't think I have time-"

"It'll only take a second. Please."

I turn to Rukia, who's eyes are staring at something on the ground. "Okay."

I put the shopping bags on the ground and turn to Senna. "I'll be right back. Watch the stuff."

I walk foreword and turn to Rukia. "I'll be right back, don't go anywhere."

Her eyes lifted to mine and I saw something flash there akin to rage and sadness, I feel the beating of my heart cease for an instant but start up again when, just as fast, the anger was gone and she turned away. I took that as a yes and followed Urahara inside.

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><p>"So, how do you know Ichigo?"<p>

I looked up at the girl standing in front of me. She was indeed beautiful, a wide smile and equally wide eyes adorning her perfect face. A fake smile. I would know because I had seen girls perfect that smile from where I come from. I decided right then that I didn't like her. Apart from the obvious reason which was eating me up, the worm of jealousy was crawling its way up my insides and leaving me with an aftertaste that made me feel ugly and wretched. It poisoned my thoughts and made me imagine scenarios on how I could hurt this lovely girl in front of me. Instead I made to answer her question.

"He's a friend." If that's what he said we were, I wasn't going to question it. She stood there awkwardly, waiting for me to reciprocate the question, I almost smiled at her nervousness. I can also see a twinge of jelousy and posessiveness in her eyes, in her stance. She gave almost everything away without me having to ask. I was accostumed to these feelings, having seen them in both genders numerous times in my line of 'business'.

"So where did you meet?"

I point to the shop beside me. "Here."

Her eyes widen and she looks at the dingy shop with a repulsed look. Of course to such a pampered and well dressed girl it would seem dingy and horrific to enter a shop that looked like it belonged in the slums.

"We have a similar interest in literature," I tell her, humouring her. I wanted to leave. I didn't want to be here. I had almost escaped when I had seen Ichigo come across a corner with a beautiful women walking with him. I had almost screamed my lungs out like an animal in a rage and jumped at him in the middle of the street, instead, I decided to hide. I had opened the door to Urahara's shop when he had called my name. I kept my expression blank through the awkward talk but my insides were burning and clawing, killing me from the inside.

"Oh yes, Shakespeare was it?"

I nod.

"Yes, he said he had wanted a library for our new home but I told him that having a sun room would accommodate more guests than a library."

I had stopped listening to her after the first half of her sentence. Our? She couldn't mean... My eyes widen slightly, my heart pounding in my ears and my brain in slow motion to prevent the thoughts from emerging to my conscious. Her smirk was truly one of malice as she turns to me. She had loved my reaction and her expression turned sickly compassionate at my surprise.

"Oh dear, please tell me he told you."

When I didn't speak, she shook her head, her silky hair like a waterfall around her, swaying neatly around her face. "If he hasn't told you, I will do you the honour of at least inviting you to our wedding."

I couldn't feel my heart. I couldn't take in a breath. I couldn't hear the rolling of wheels as a carriage passed, I couldn't hear the shout of the baker to his page boy. I couldn't see Senna's smirk turn a notch upward as my world turned upside down. I took a deep breath, calming myself. _I wasn't like this. No one had this much power over you Rukia. Snap out of it._ I turn to her, my eyes clear and I force myself to be the epitone of what is 'normal' in society. I smile at her, willing my teeth to show. Her smirk falters at my fake happiness for her.

"Congratulations. I haven't seen Ichigo for a while so he just have let it slip his mind."

She recovers quickly though there is the barest surprise in her voice. "Of course."

"For how long… have you been engaged?" I ask, my voice cracking slightly in the middle of the sentence. My cheeks started to hurt because of the large smile on my face but I had to know. I wanted to horribly crush the small ample hope in my chest that Ichigo hadn't been coming to me for the past 13 days because he was now engaged. Somehow, I knew the answer, but I wanted it confirmed. To destroy myself at my own selfish thoughts. I wanted to punish myself with the knowledge.

"About 4 months I think."

I take a deep breath to maintain the prickling behind my eyes and the twitching of my nose. "Well I hope you and him have all the happiness the world has to offer. I have to go, the sun is going down and I don't want to be stuck here the rest of the night."

I turn around and am thankful Senna just missed the first tear that leaks out of my eyes. She calls to me once, telling me to stay because Ichigo was coming back. I ignore her and move through the crowd, knowing not where I was going. Just knowing I had to _leave_.

* * *

><p>"Where's Rukia?" I ask as soon as I step out of the shop. Urahara had taken up too much of my time to just ask me if I wanted to buy some ridiculous items from his shop. I rejected them and he gave me a long lecture on humanity and its many woes. I left him to it and when I got out, Rukia had gone. Senna's angry eyes narrowed at me, her nostrils flared slightly. She shrugs her shoulder and points down the street.<p>

"She just up and ran off. Honestly Ichigo, if this is the company you are with all day then I - Ichigo."

I hardly heard her as my legs started moving without my permission down the street. Running after the raven.

"Sorry Senna. I'll be right back. Go inside the shop."

I didn't wait for an answer before I got lost in the crowded street. I had an advantage with my height and I looked through everyone to see the ebony color of hair and a short height of the women I was looking for. I couldn't find her so I searched a few more minutes. A thin sheen of sweat had appeared on my face as I ran down the street. But I couldn't find her. I reached the Inn but stopped myself. I couldn't go in. I had my fiancé waiting for me. If I went in I wouldn't want to come out. I turn around and head back to the shop. The streets were slightly empty now as the sun was sinking lower. I try to catch my breath as my thoughts travel to Rukia. She had been there. I had seen her. I guess that was enough. It was worth it. I close my eyes and remember her blank face as she looked at me, her eyes swimming with some kind of emotion I couldn't detect. I open my eyes when I hear a sniff coming from a narrow alley a few ways off from the road. Curiously, I turn and make my way to the alley and what I see surprises me and shoots an agony of pain to my very core. Rukia looks up at me, her eyes are puffy and red and they widen as she notices me. Had she been crying? Something warm and bitter seeps into my chest where my heart stood.

"Rukia…"

"Leave me."

My eyes widen in surprise at her rage. She looks away as I stare at her. My eyes harden.

"I'm not going anywhere."

She groans in frustration and starts to walk out of the alley. "Fine, then I'll leave."

My hand grabs her forearm before I can even think about it. She turns around and slaps me across the face. It's not that it hurt but it's that she had done it at all had me reeling back, but I still don't let her go. Amber clashes with amethyst as we both stare each other down. My cheek stings but thats it and the pain is gone within a few seconds.

"Let me go."

"No."

"Leave me alone," she spits at me through gritted teeth, her eyes are burn into mine. Instead of being intimidated, I stare at her with equal fervour. Her large eyes and angry gaze had me falter slightly when my cock starts to harden. "Your fiancé is waiting for you."

My expression falters. She had found out. I look away from her, shame and guilt clouding my features.

"You're no different than any of the other bastards who fuck me."

I cringe at her words. My eyes returned to hers, an anger to match her own if not more.

"I'm nothing like them."

"You come to a whore when you have a fiancé waiting for you at home. Your such a hypocrite. You fucked me two weeks ago and now your going shopping and planning your future home with your future wife."

Through the talk, tears had sprung to her eyes. I was taken aback by the raw emotion behind every word. Whatever she was trying to say, I wanted to prove her wrong, no matter how right she was.

"The way I feel for both of you is completely different."

"Fuck you. Fuck you Ichigo," she almost screams, pushing me away. My grip on her wrists tighten. How could I show her? How could I show her how I felt for her when she was like this? Beyond reason. I pull her to me and hear her gasp as press my lips forcefully on hers. She puts her hands on my chest and tries to push me away. I pull her closer to me, using my strength over her to my advantage. I message her lips with mine until I can feel her shiver in my arms. I lick her bottom lip and she opens her mouth, her body still resistant but she's not struggling anymore. I play with her tongue and she bites it down hard, enough to draw blood, enticing a low growl in my throat. We're both starting to breath hard in heavy pants while our lips fight for dominance as we keep going. She pulls my hair roughly, releasing some of her anger on me no doubt. I start to kiss and bite at her jaw roughly, creating hickeys as I travel down to her neck. Her breathing has accelerated as has mine and her moans are doing me in. She suddenly pushes me against the wall, my back hitting the brick wall painfully behind me. I let out a grunt when she pulls me back for another kiss, her body pushing foreword, grinding against my growing erection. I moan as she reaches her hand down and touches my cock through my clothes. I hear the sound of zipper and look down to see her unbuttoning my trouser. I shake my head at her.

"No Rukia. I can't, not now."

She doesn't seem to hear me and slaps my hands away as she rips my shirt, my buttons flying everywhere. I gasp when her mouth latched on my nipple, giving it a hot open mouth kiss. She takes the bud between her teeth and flicks it with her wet tongue. I let out a loud moan and use the back of my hands to muffle the sound. She moves to the other, her actions rushed. She gives me the same treatment there, her other hand messaging my cock through my underwear. I'm gripping the side of the building by now. Willing us to become invisible if anyone happen to walk in on us. But I can't seem to care as her mouth moves lower. I look down at her head, my mind drunk of lust, my throat parched with my heavy breathing.

"Rukia," I say her name in a borken moan. I need to stop her, but for the life of me I can't.

She licks my cock through my underwear and I gasp as my knees give way slightly. My hands grab her hair, pulling her away from my cock.

"Stop."

She smirks maliciously at me, her eyes holding all the malice of a madman. She pulls down my brief, and my dick springs out in the open, arching up, precome coating the outer region. She moves her hand and glides it underneath from base to tip, blowing at the tip. Her eyes gauging my reaction as I close my eyes and lay my head back against the wall, shivering in ecstasy. She pulls away from my grip on her hair and uses her tongue to lick the precum from my cock. I try to stifle the gasp and lay my strain my head against the brick wall as she suddenly takes the entire length into her hot mouth and I moan loudly at the feeling. Pleasure ripples through me and all I can do is gasp and groan as I'm taken higher then cloud 9. I look down to have her staring up at me and the sight is enough to take me over the edge. She moves her mouth back and foreword, her tongue working expertly on my cock. Her hands cups my balls and she message them. She takes me deeper into her throat and hums, the back of her throat sending vibrations and making me cry out slightly. The pleasure was too much. Her mouth around me, looking up at me, the possibility of being caught out in the open. It was too much.

"I wonder what Senna would say if she saw you like this?" Rukia asks me in a husky voice, my hazy mind hardly paying any attention to her. She pulls away from me and move my cock back so she can lick my balls. My hands turn to fists as I bite the side of them to stop the moan that comes out regardless. My eyes clench shut as she delves her tongue around one, then the other. She pulls back and again takes me.

"In the mouth of another women."

She starts going faster, her tongue wrapping itself around my appendage every time and her hands working her magic. I grab the back of her head and use it to move her head back and forth faster. Felling my release coming, liquid fire coursing through me. Suddenly, my orgasm hits me hard and I scream out her name, not caring who heard and who didn't as my eyes widen and I see flashes of light, my mouth gaping open. My seed fills her mouth and she swallows it down as I ride out the effects from my ecstacy. I'm breathing like I've run a run a hundred miles and look down at her to see her lapping up the mess. She pulls my underwear up, then my pants. She stands up without looking at me and leaves me standing in the middle of the alley without a word.


	10. Chapter 10

**The Raven-**10

I return to Urahara's after I had seemingly gotten better control of myself. I couldn't stop thinking about her.

_ Rukia_.

What had made her act that way? The tears in her eyes, her gruff and high pitched voice, the anger in her voice even with her mouth between my legs. A blush took over my features at the thought and I willed the image away before it could create a physical reaction on my body. Could it be possible that she had been jealous? Or was I just being paranoid? She was probably truly angry at me, because I had promised to come back to her, yet I hadn't._ I had broken my promise_, the thought made my shoulders sag in the heavy weight of guilt.

The shop came into view and I see Senna sitting at a rickety bench outside. She catches me coming her way and straightens her back, her eyes furrowing into a glare.

"Where were you?" she asks, her voice angry and deep. I try to act as nonchalant as possible, my heart thumping loudly and my movements rapid and awkward. I suddenly didn't know what to do with my hands anymore so I moved to gather the shopping bags that sat on the ground and bench in my hold again. I couldn't look at Senna, not after what I had just done. God, I don't think I've ever felt so dirty. My paranoia started to get the better of me, making me believe that Senna knew everything, like she had watched me in the alley, had actually been there. I dub the notion ridiculous but am unable to control the cool sheen of sweat that steadily takes ahold of my forehead. I straighten up and I'm suddenly glad I had brought my coat with me today so I could button it up to hide the exposed shirt underneath thanks to my ripped buttons. I shrug my shoulders, shopping bags now in hand.

"I couldn't find her."

She stood up. I swallowed audibly, feeling my Adams apple bob up and down conspicuously.

"Then why were you gone for so long?" I didn't know how it was possible but her eyes narrowed even more. I shrugged my shoulders again, almost like a nervous tick now.

"I thought I saw her but it turned out to be someone else."

I saw her jaw clench. She wanted to lash at me I knew it, she wanted to scream and shout but she couldn't. Not here. Not in public. She turned and started to walk away from me, towards the direction of home. I let out a breath I had been holding and pick up the bags, following her. I guess the tailor would have to wait.

* * *

><p>I hardly felt any better after screaming and harassing Ichigo before storming out after the uproar. I hardly cared that his family could hear me scream my lungs out at my intended, informing him none-too-gracefully how to be a gentlemen and how to treat a lady. How dare he? How DARE he? Leaving me like one of the shopping bags outside an atrociously haggard shop so he could go run after some ugly slut. I almost stomp my feet in exasperated anger like a 5-year old on my way to the automobile on Ichigo's driveway, but control myself. I take a few deep breaths and get into the backseat of my vehicle.<p>

"Take me home," I say to my driver in a curt voice. He doesn't say anything, just pulls out of the driveway and starts driving down the deserted road. I lean my head against the window looking out into the darkness. I close my eyes and take a few deep breath. After exactly 7 breaths, I've calmed down and the rational part of my brain comes alive.

Maybe I was too hard on him. I mean I can't help that there are other sluts in the world, this was just the beginning. Ichigo was a very handsome man and soon, every girl would be after him. Even if we were married. I couldn't take that. I won't take that. I loved him, with every fibre of my being. He belonged to me, he knew that, that's why we're engaged. I let out a sigh. Today had been different though. Women at the store had been ogling him, some had 'accidentally' brushed their asset against him but he had been oblivious. Smiling and apologizing or just plain ignoring them. I had been the center of his world, and that's how it was supposed to be.

But that Rukia.

I hadn't expected that. That enlightened expression on his face when he saw her, that smile of happiness I had never seen before. I had seen the lust there as well. That was no ordinary relationship. I would have to do something about this. I wouldn't want to tarnish our future name. Ichigo was blinded by that flat-chested little witch. I would change that. I would pull away the veil covering Ichigo's beautiful eyes.

* * *

><p>"Show yourself up. Rukia just finished lunch."<p>

I nod at Yoruichi and ascend up the stairs to the second floor of the Inn. I had come to talk to her today, her attitude and tears yesterday were like a bad after-taste in my mouth. I hadn't been able to get a good nights sleep and had come early to the Inn, foregoing my work in favor of finding out the truth. I needed to know if she was okay, I wanted to know what had gotten over her yesterday. I stand outside her door.

Inhale.

Exhale.

"Rukia," I call, almost in a caress. I could hardly control the emotions that took handle over my body when I'm near her.

"Come in Ichigo."

I slide the door open and regard her sitting at her favourite spot beside the window. She wasn't in her comfortable white robe today, instead, she wore a kimono. Not fancy but definitely different from what she usually wore while staying in. It was plain, I realize, then her other kimono's. I frowned at her.

"Going somewhere?"

She nodded and turned to look at me. Her eyes were different. They were less…bright. Almost dim but not dead. Not yet. My heart took a pang at the sadness and broken look her eyes took in a flash as she regarded me. My breath caught but just as quickly, she looked away and stood up.

"I'm going to visit my sister."

I pulled back in surprise, my eyes widen in confusion. In the sudden silence that decends, I hear the buzzing of a fly's wing pass near my ears. "Your sister?"

She nods and walks towards me, every step closer made my heart beat ten times faster. She stood right in front of me and looked me in the eyes and my head swims. I finally understood what it was that were so different about her eyes. They were guarded, cautious. Just like the first time I met her and I felt a dull ache in my heart that rendered me stiff for a second.

"Remember you asked me why I was here."

I stare into her eyes, trying to understand her, unveil her, make her vulnerable to me. She held strong and I nodded.

_How could I forget out first kiss_?

"I'll show you."

* * *

><p>We arrive in the city 3 hours later. The train ride had been quiet and even if I wanted to talk or ask Rukia anything she didn't look at me, made me seem like a stranger. I decided that questions were pointless and we were quiet in each others company for the entire ride.<p>

She steps out of the train before me onto the platform, not even pausing to gauge the direction she was going in. like she's done it a billion times and has carved it into her brain, her legs carrying her instinctly. I follow her out of the station into the bustling city. She doesn't look back to see if I follow her so I keep my eyes on her and try not to lose her small form in the crowd of the city. She walks in a fast pace, looking straight ahead, intent on her destination. I never liked the city and this hustling and bustling of people obscurring my view of the raven was only increasing my great irritation for crowded areas. I wonder where she was taking me. She had told me nothing except that she had a sister and it was because of her that she was in such a state. To whore herself every night for her sister. My heart whelmed at the thought. What had happened to her sister that she had made her resort to being a prostitute? But I wasn't quick to conclude anything since she had kept quiet after she told me we were going to the city.

We keep walking and the crowd has finally lessened. The sky has turned orange when we finally reach a street with a brick path, a single building taking the entirety of the block. I hadn't expected her to stop and when she did I almost bumped into her. The streets are almost completely deserted now except for a few homeless people sitting against benches and window stalls. I looked at the building she suddenly faced, her eyes hard but her face placid. My eyes widen as I realize where we are. My eyes turn to her. She couldn't mean… she takes in a breath and walks towards the door, avoiding me as if I wasn't there. I take in a few breaths and follow her into the mental institution.

The interior is normal and plain the smell is horrific and reminds me of a hospital. The walls are bache with a few paintings. Chairs cover the wall in the waiting room and Rukia asks me to sit inside. I don't question her, just give her a hard look. trying to understand her even a little.

_Just look at me dammit_.

She doesn't. She walks to the receptionists who knows her by name. I walk to the waiting room and sit on one of the clean chairs that did not appear to have a stain on them, they creak slightly in protest. Rukia comes after a few minutes and sits across me, her hands clasped, her eyes down. After a few moments of silence I can't keep my mouth from opening.

"Rukia-"

"Please Ichigo, just-can you- just… please just wait and see."

Her voice is so strained and cracked and heavy, as if there's a lump in her throat and she's about to cry any minute. I nod at her and turn away, understanding her demand. We wait for about half an hour before the recptionist calls for Rukia.

"She's ready for you," the middle aged women tells her, her eyes move to me in confusion, but before she can ask, Rukia thanks her and moves to the stairs leading up. I smile at the middle-aged receptionist and she nods, her lips in a stiff line though her eyes are kind. We walk up the winding stairs quietly. Our shoes echoing in the space. There are patients dressed in long white tunics and loose pants, though they've turned almost a light tea colored from being soiled and worn and washed too much. The walls, floor and uniforms are white and it makes me slightly sick. I should be used to this considering I was raised in a clinic, but the white is starting to make me almost heave. There are nurses and family visiting but not too many. My stomach convulges slightly as Rukia walks through the hallway like she's part of it. Like she's used to it. I wish she wasn't. I wish she didn't have to walk with such pain. I didn't know to what lengths I would go to take her pain away. The thought scared me. My emotions were foreign, I haven't felt so protective over anyone before except for my family and she wasn't family and she was definately more than a friend... _what was she to me?_

I'm broken out of my thoughts when she finally turns to a room at the end of the hallway. Room 213. She stops outside the door and suddenly, after this entire trip, she looks uncertain and confused. Like she didn't remember how she got here, just a memory of walking through the village, to the train and the city to this institution. She shouldn't have to come to a place like this. She shouldn't have to feel **any** pain. I wish I could do something for her, to change her past, her future. Her eyes harden and she takes a deep breath, almost holding it before she turns the knob and opens the door. It creaks slightly and the noise unnerves me. She walks through and leaves the door open for me to enter. A plump nurse in a white tunic and pants sits in the corner, knitting on a chair. A baby's sock. She smiles at Rukia and me. I nod at her.

"Hisana."

I turn to Rukia in surprise. I almost thought there was somebody else in the room. Her voice was not her own, it was low and gentle, as if she were speaking to a nervous child. I look to the bed and see her. I suddenly wondered if I would stop her on the street and confuse her for Rukia because she looked almost exactly like her. Except for her hair. It was long and reached past her elbows, almost to her waist. It was dry and frizzy. Her eyes were down and held heavy bags underneath, her head lolled to the side. Her skin was like paste and her lips chapped. She sat at the edge of the bed, her legs swinging at the edge. When Rukia calls her again she looks up and breaks into a wide grin. She lets out a hollow sound of laughter and reaches out to her. Rukia smiles and walks to her, holding her hand and hugging her sister to her stomach from where she sat. My eyes don't move from her. She loves her, I can see that. A love so profound and powerful it radiated out of her and it consumes me. Making my heart clench and my throat dry.

"How are you?" Rukia asks, moving back looking down at her and stroking her hair. Hisana closes her eyes, and smiles with her mouth open again at her. Rukia's smile never leaves her as she turns to me, her eyes shining slightly yet with a gentleness I have never seen on anyones face except my mother. She reaches her hand to me. The gesture is so out-of-character that I pull back in surprise. Nevertheless, my heart pounds in my chest and my fingers tingle as they reach for her.

"Hisana, this is my friend Ichigo."

Hisana doesn't look at me at first, her eyes on Rukia then she lets out a gruttel sounds, between a laugh and a squeal, her voice choking as she takes a deep breath, "Ichi-gooo."

She laughs again and Rukia frowns at her, though her eyes are gentle. "No Hisana. Not a strawberry. He's my friends, here."

Rukia takes her hand and places it on mine. My stomach flutters in nervousness when Hisana finally looks at me, her eyes wide. I smile at her and put my other hand on top of hers. She leans her head to the side, regarding me.

"Hi Hisana. I'm Ichigo."

There's a quiet awkwardness then Hisana lets out the same grutal laugh. Calling my name over and over again, making 'nom, nom' sounds, as if she's eating something. Rukia lets out a laugh and I scrawl at them both homourly, making them both laugh harder. Hisana falls back onto her bed and thrashes her bed covers, laughing. After a few moments she calms down and lays still. She's fallen asleep. The nurse leaves for a break because things don't seem to be any trouble here. Rukia sits at the top of the bed and Hisana stirrs slightly, moving her head so she's able to lie on her sisters lap. I bring the nurses chair over to the bed and sit on it as Rukia slowly combed Hisanas hair with her fingers. The sleeping girl snores and mumbles in her sleep. The sun is low and an orange hue enters the room. I wait for Rukia to talk, the silence is killing me but I wait for her to speak to me.

"This is my older sister, Hisana," she starts, her eyes still on her sister, her voice low and raspy, as if talking on a parched throat. "We lived with our parents at the district. We were poor but we got by. Hisana was 14 years old with the mind of 3 year old by the time both my parents passed away. I was 12," she pauses taking a deep breath. "We were orphans and we didn't have anywhere to stay when we couldn't pay for the lease at our home. We were on the streets, scavenging for food. When I say we, I mean me because Hisana was mostly left in an alleyway when I ran to steal our food." My heart lurches at the thought of such a life. Guilt consumes me at the luxury I lived compared to this girl in front of me. "Aizen found me stealing from a stall one day and when he followed me he found Hisana. He offered me a job, said he would keep Hisana here, the best place for her to be and as a repayment I would work for him."

I don't move, I don't breath. Hisana starts to drool on Rukia's clothes. I reach for the handkerchief in my pocket and give it to her. She smiles at me and cleans her sisters dripping saliva.

"I started working at the Inn, doing odd jobs. I didn't sleep with anyone then. I was too young. When I turned 15 I had my first customer. It's been going on for 3 and a half years now."

Silence desends on us. I don't think I could talk even if I wanted to. So she was different. Unlike anyone I had met before. She was, in a sense, living for her sister. Her only family. Her large and beautiful eyes meet mine and I stare back at her. My heart pounds when she doesn't look away, my thoughts turn to mesh and my breathing harsh. _I understand Rukia, I finally understand_.

* * *

><p>Hisana doesn't wake up when Rukia kisses her and tells her good bye and promises to come back soon. Even in her sleep Hisana keeps a strong hold on her hands and Rukia has to pry it off in order for her to tuck her in and leave the room after the nurse returns. She had a impassive expression on her face for the world to see, but her eyes were glued to the ground as we walk to the exit of the building, and in those beautiful eyes, I could see the pain and anguish of leaving her sister alone here. We walk out of the institute, down the road and back to the station. Throughout the walk I find my eyes glued to her. I didn't look at the recpetionist, not the people we passed or where we were going.<p>

When we're finally on the train sitting comfortably, I find the courage to use my mouth.

"How often do you visit her?" my voice is slightly rough from disuse and I swallow to appease the dryness. She's looking out the window, her chin resting on her knuckles, her elbows on the window sill.

"Weekends, I'm allowed. But I haven't gone in a while... it hurts..." her voice cracks and I see a few tears forming before she looksto the side, her ebony hair obscurring my view.

"How did your parents die?" I ask after a pause.

She turns back to look out the window, her tears gone. "My father commited suicide by throwing himself down a cliff. My mother died of illness."

Silence.

"My mother was mudered in front of me when I was 7." I suddenly blurt out. I hadn't expected to tell her that and I don't know why I was telling her. She had more then enough problems and here I sat, sprouting mine. But my mouth suddenly had a mind of it's own and I kept going. "We were coming back from my friends house. Grimmjow, you know him," I was babbling, "We were just a few minutes away when a bandit came with a knife and demanded money. She gave him everything she had but it wasn't enought. I can still see the sweat dripping off his eyebrow and chin, his breath was hot and smelt like alcohol, of course I didnt know what that was then but I remember it smelt disgusting. When he wanted more, my mother moved in front of me, blocking me, begging him to move and let me go, that she didn't have any. He didn't listen and reached for her. She pulled away and he panicked. I dont remember anything after that except the image of my mother lying on the ground, her blood the color of roses seeping around her like silk...I couldnt believe she was dead..."

A moment of silence passes and I'm able to control the tears that are threatening to fall. I've never talked to anyone about this before except my dad. He had had the right to know, but why Rukia?

Because I trusted her. That was it. I felt I could tell her anything and everything if I had wanted to. From the corner of my eye, I see Rukia get up and move to sit beside me, her thighs bumbing against mine. She takes my hand in hers and I marvel at the softness of it. She holds it and sits back, not letting go. The train finally starts to move, her hands held tightly together, her eyes staring out the window. And at that moment, that was all I needed.

Halfway through the 3 hour ride on the trin her eyelids drop in exhaustion. I pulled her body to mine. She didn't resist as she laid her head on my lap, her breathing deep and even. My heart thumped in my chest at the simple contact and I felt my insides churn as I reached for her hair and kneaded it between my finger. She moaned slightly in her sleep. My eyes attached to her like a magnet throughout the ride, a ghost of a smile on my lips that I hadn't even realized was there. Again, that same feeling of suffocation, of overwhelmed emotions, of ecstasy and happiness. What was it? What was I feeling? And then she calls my name, barely a whisper from her petal soft lips.

"Ichigo."

My heart is stuck in my throat, trying to jump out of my mouth, my stomach churns and my head is dizzy. I can suddenly feel it. Feel the change in myself as I stare at her. I feel like I'm on the brink of suffocation. I'm at peace but on the edge of unconsciousness when the world seems surreal and thoughts float around you. Everything is different now. I can feel the change taking place inside me, like a piece of puzzle finally settling. I take a deep breath and stare at the raven. My raven.

_Ah_, I sigh in realization_. I'm in love_.


	11. Chapter 11

**The Raven - 11**

We both got off the train as soon as the vehicle came to a stop. We were quiet as we made our way outside the station. Ichigo stayed close to me. So close that I could feel the heat from his body envelope me. The air is chilled outside and I can smell snow in the air. It's going to be a long winter. I'm trying to remember what I would use to cover the window when I feel Ichigo use his fingertips to tilt my head to him. I stare at him, wide-eyed in surprise. There were not many people around us, the crowd of arrivals had dispersed not too long after the train had arrived, but still. Showing affection in public, with a whore, wasn't unusual but with Ichigo it was uncalled for. But what made my heart stuck in my throat wasn't at the prospect of being seen, but the look in his eyes.

What was it? Gentle?...Endearing?... Whatever it was, it had his eyes twinkling with something that made my knees weak. He leans foreward, my breath catches. His eyes are on mine, gauging my reaction as he inches foreward towards my lips. I want to pull away. More than anything. Atleast that's what my mind tells me, my heart and my body have different ideas as he closes the distance and I don't move away and, instead, kiss him back. His lips are gentle against mine, soft and I almost swoon. The kiss is chaste and innocent. I don't feel his tongue ask for entrance or his hands groping me. Just a gentle press on lips, his fingertips growing warm on my chin. That's all it is but it has me seeing stars behind my closed eyelids and making my heart beat faster then horse hooves.

_This is a bad idea. _I can't help but think. I should leave him alone, leave him be. He has a life to live, a life with his future wife and family. My eyes sting. _We've always been a bad idea. _

I pull away first, my breath creating smoke from the cold air. He leans his forehead against mine and I look to the hollow between his collar bones. I can see it pulse with every beat of his heart. I reach my finger up and place it against the hollow, closing my eyes and feeling the erratic beating of his heart, keeping him alive and here, with me.

I smile at that.

I pull away. "Go home Ichigo."

I don't see the look on his face before I turn and walk away. Back to my world.

I feel I can finally breath without him near me. My heart has calmed down but my eyes burn to see him again. I turn my thoughts to my sister. It had been exhausting today, more emotionally than anything else. He knew about her, he wasn't disgusted at her behaviour, rather he went in stride with it. I knew, without a doubt, when I saw the calm look in his eyes as he talked to my sister, the humble approach and attentive voice that he would make a great doctor someday.

Hisana had been good today. She had been in a good mood or else I would have to go through a week with a bruise and scratches to explain to people who didn't know I had a sister in amental institution. I'm glad she fell asleep. Ichigo didn't seem to know what to do with the situation, despite the gentleness in his eyes. Though there had been disbelief, he accepted my story the minute it left my mouth and I don't know how grateful I was to him. He was the only man I had ever taken to meet her at the institute. I had taken my friends from the Inn but that was it. The events that would follow would decide if Ichigo still wanted anything to do with me or not. I would have to wait.

_Kami Rukia, you can be really stubborn sometimes_

I hadn't wanted to see him today. I had decided to avoid him after what happened yesterday. I wouldn't be able to explain myself if he asked me about it. And I knew he would ask me about it. So I thought of distracting him, and what better way than to show him what I had promised. But why? Why did I care if he knew or didn't. Because I loved him? Because after seeing Senna with him I wanted to show him that I too was a women? Because I wanted him to know that if life was fair, I would be his and he would be mine? That I didn't want to be a whore but circumstances called for it. Was I justifying myself? Trying to help my case? I didn't want him to pity me, having worked hard all my life. I deflated at the questions whirling around in my head. I was a whore, this is the only world I knew. Circumstances be damned. What dignity did I have?

I arrive at few moments later. Yoruichi isn't in her front desk so I head up straight to my room, ready to fall asleep. Though I had had a good rest on the train on Ichigo's lap I couldn't bring myself to keep my eyes open anymore. I open the door and before I can turn the light on, I'm pulled into the darkness of the room. I gasp in surprise and lose my balance, landing on the wooden floor hard. I turn to the intruder, my senses tingling and my adrenaline rushing, readying myself for a fight. The light turns on and my voice is lost in my throat, my heart stops and my eyes widen.

"So you do work here."

I couldn't relive the sense of dega vu before a searing pain hit my back. I cried out at the pain of the kick and turn to see a large man standing above me. He leans down on his haunches and grabs my jaw. I fling my arms towards him so I could land a hit or even pull away. He pulls back and slaps me across the face, I see blinding white lights and feel nauseous at the taste of blood at my split lip. He ties a piece of clothe around my mouth.

"Though I don't know why we have to gag her seeing as this place gets more screams than a torture chanber."

I turn back to the beautiful girl standing at my door. She almost has a malicious smile on her face but her eyes are hard and angry.

"Senna?" I say in disbeleif, though the sound is muffled against the cloth. She walks towards me.

"I'm not sure you know who this is," she says casually as if we're in a tea party, "Yammy, my bodyguard."

I look at the burly man. He grins as a trail of blood flows down my chin. "Now your probably wondering what I'm doing here. don't worry I'm not here to kill you, just wanted to know what kind of people Ichi hangs around with."

My heart plummets at the endearing use of his name coming so casually from her mouth. She was here to hurt me, not kill me. Beat me within an inch of my life maybe. All because she was jealous. This type of thing had obviously happened before, women coming and trying to give me a piece of their mind. They usually didn't bring back up but even if they did, I would end up victorious if they got past Yoruichi that is. At the moment though, I was drained from the events of the day and not to mention the huge sidekick she had brought along was thrice my size. I looked at her with hatred, this was the kind of girl Ichigo was going to marry? The girl he had fallen in love with? Obviously he didn't know about this though. This girl was a psycho. What would happen to Ichigo now? Don't tell me he'd be in an even worse predicament than me.

"And of course I wanted to deliver some messages."

My eyes narrow at her as the big guy starts walking towards me. He pulls me up to my feet, my back protesting from where he had kicked me. He had probably broken a rib. I eye Senna in suspicion and hatred. She extracts a metal rod from behind her that I hadn't seen. My eyes widen at the intent in her eyes. It wasn't enough that she was marrying Ichigo, she had to beat me near death to do it. I let out a muffled scream, thrashing in the mans arm, though he help me in a grip lock.

"Tsk, hold still."

She brings the pipe down on my stomach, I clench my jaw in pain. I had gotten worse, I had gotten way worse. Her technique was flawed, she didn't know what she was doing, just flailing the metal around. I wouldn't give her the benefit of seeing me in pain. She does it again. Gaining confidence and momentum, her anger at me raging her on. She was breathing harder than me when Yammy dropped me to the floor. Senna kept going, hitting me anywhere she could. I couldn't move at the pain. I didn't cry out even as bruises formed and blood leaked out. She keeps going for what seemed like forever, but all I could think about was when the end would come? When would she be satisfied? Senna finally stops, breathing hard, standing over me for a few moments. She moves to the candle and flicks it out and I think it's over but then she lets out a small cry of outrage and hits my rib one last time. I heave in a heavy breath, strangling. Pain is all I felt. Painfully numb. Would this kill me? Was I already in hell? But I wasn't in hell. I knew that because Senna leans down, her mouth on my ear. I can hardly hear her over the pounding of my heart heart in my ears.

"Don't ever come near him again. You are a whore. He will never love you."

Hell would never have Ichigo. I let out a small cry at the thought of him.

"Shh," she soothes me, like a mother. Reaching her hand up to move a string of hair from my face. She stands up and leaves me on the floor. Tears leak at her words, they hit me worse than her physical rage ever would.

It was Orihime that found me, breathing hard and whining quietly. She called for Yoruichi, tears falling. She was shaking, as she reached for my hand. I let out a hiss of pain when she touched my broken finger. She kneeled on the ground crying when Yoruichi came with a few others who had been roused by the commotion. Voices were muffled to me as blood seeped uncomfortably into my ear. Matsumoto and Nell pushed foreward. Yoruichi kneeled down beside me, she said something I didn't hear. My vision grew fuzzy as Momo moved foreward, Matsumoto told her something and she left, running. I soon closed my eyes, welcoming the darkness.

* * *

><p>I went to the Inn the next day, heart pounding in anticipation of seeing Rukia. Being near her. Everything seemed so different now. Had I really never noticed the roses that bloomed outside my house, how beautiful they were? I felt like a walking cliche as every poem ever written by a romantic suddenly held such profound meaning.<p>

_I should bring some flowers for her._

I decided against it. I was being ridiculous. I hadn't slept well last night, wide awake and thinking about her. I ran through all our conversations in my head. Remembering every gesture. The feel of her lips of her body under me. I couldn't get enough. I knew I had to do something about Senna, I couldn't exactly marry her if I was in love with another women. A prostitute nontheless. I sigh. Something would have to be done, but I didn't want to think about it now. I just wanted to see her. My eyes were stinging to catch a glimpse of her. When I arrived at the Inn, however, Yoruichi tells me Rukia wasn't there.

"Where is she?" I ask, slightly anxious. I had hoped to see her right now. Disappointment left me scrawling. She raises her eyebrows at my attitude and I immediately sober up.

"She's gone for a few months. She doesn't want to see anyone right now Ichigo."

A few seconds of silence pass, a few seconds of my heart frozen in my chest. What?

"What?" I ask, my voice is levelled and even, contrasting greatly with the emotions raging inside me. Yoruichi nods, looking down at the papers in front of her.

"Where?" my voice has raised an octave and a slight panic enters my tone. Yoruichi doesn't even look at me when she tells me.

"I can't give out that kind of information."

I see red, I clench my fist and try to reason with myself that I was talking to a women and beating her up would result in nothing. Not to mention she would probably leave me worse off.

"Please Yoruichi, I need to see her."

She shakes her head. Looking back up at me, "I'm sorry Ichigo. Unfortunately you wont see her until she gets back."

I swallow the lump in my throat, ignoring her, I turn towards the stairs and start to run up to her room. Calling her name down the hall. I'm almost yelling when I come to her door and slide it open. It's empty. Her tatami mat is folded under her table and the window is closed. I feel my heart ripping out. My breath leaving me as my body goes slack. She can't have left. She wouldn't.

"Ichigo," Yoruichi calls me softly. She wasn't mad, more cautious as I turned to her. Her eyes hold pity as she shakes her head. I know what she means and I turn away from her room of scented jasmines. I walk down the stairs, out of the Inn. My mind is blank and I revel in it. Because I knew what would happen when it hit me. I knew what would happen so I enjoyed my solitude for the time being. With the little sense I had left, I walked to Chads house. I knew if anyone would understand it would be him. He would listen quietly and let me get it out without judging me. Grimmjow was the person I had thought of initially but he didn't know how to keep his mouth shut and I didn't really feel like dealing with that.

I arrived at his house with the sun hanging low in the sky since he lived at the edge of town. He was in the shed out back. His father was a blacksmith and because they weren't Japanese, business wasn't exactly running. The large shed is hot and fire crackles loudly with the clangling of swords. Chad hammers the molten red between a sword while his father is by the fire, sticking the edges of a band of metal inside the flames. I don't say a word but Chad sees me come in even with all the noise in the small house. One look at my face and he calls to his father in his native language. They exchange words before Chad leaves his tools and walks over to me. He muscles are raw and his body is sweating. I instantly feel guilty coming here but I know I don't want to be alone right now. Later maybe. But not now. He leads me to the back of his small house, sitting on the wooden stairs outside the porch overlooking his backyard. He goes in for a few seconds. I look across the large yard with a small hen house and chickens pecking at the floor. For a few seconds. I'm at peace. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. There is no one behind my closed eyelids. Not her, not me. Only darkness. But all too soon, the over flow of that damn emotion of yearning consumes me. Yearning for her. For her supple lips, for the soft curve underneath her breast, for the mole just beneath the tenderness of her ears. I just want her. I want to see her so bad that I can't sit still. But I have no idea where she is and everything inside me just deflates in defeat.

The cool base of a beer bottle taps against my temple and I graciously take it from Chad. I thank him and he grunts at me, sitting down a step higher than me. I feel comfortable like this, not being able to see him. Its almost like he's not even there, though he exerts enough presence to let me know I'm not alone. We sit in silence, only the chugging of beers, the pecking of hens breaking the silence we fell in. I could think with Chad, he didn't ask me what was wrong, what had happened, or give me advise to buck up or challenge me in an insufferable way. No, me and Chad had this connection where one look could deliver a thousand words. I don't look at him as I start talking. Just one sentence and he understands what I'm going through. He won't question me, but he'll follow me to the ends of the earth if I asked him to come along.

"I love her, Chad."

He doesn't even satisfy me with a grunt or a nod, as I see from the corner of my eye. He just stares ahead. I had a feeling he already knew that. A small line of tears appear suddenly on my lower lid but I refuse to let them grow. I wouldn't cry. If I did, I had already given up. I sniff back the tears and lay my head down on my arm, hiding my face between my knees.

"She left," I whisper, almost to myself. "She's gone. And I love her."

Moments of silence pass between us and soon, the sky turns dark. I feel a dull weight on my shoulder and turn to Chad. He squeezes my shoulder in reassurance and finally speaks for the first time since I came to visit.

"Then wait for her."

* * *

><p>And I did wait. I knew I'd wait for her. The only problem left was my engagement. I wondered how I would tell Senna. She had already started listing the people we were to invite. I admit I felt guilty about it. That I would be the one to destroy the happy expression on her face, but it had to be done one of these days, before her feelings grew even more profound. It had been a week since Rukia had left and I went to visit Grimmjow.<p>

Seeing the expression on my face, he thumps me on the shoulder twice, his eyes convicing as he tells me,

"She'll come back."

I take a shuddering breath and nod to him. _I hope so._ I stay and we talk about other things, he asks me about my work and I ask him about Nell. It's a good distraction as we sip our drinks and relish in things other than my broken heart. The sun is setting when Grimmjow offers to come with me back to my house. Halfway through the walk, with the sun hanging low, a thought suddenly comes to mind and I turn to Grimmjow, his hands are in his pocket and he's wearing his signature scrawl almost identicle to mine.

"Grimmjow, How did you know she was gone?"

Grimmjow doesn't look at me, he's not even surprised at my question.

"Nel told me."

I can hear my heart pounding in my ear and my breathing get heavy. "Did she say anything else?"

He's quiet for a second as we keep walking. He suddenly stops in his steps and turns to me. I had known Grimmjow for a long time, hell I had grown up with him. I knew he would never lie to me, he couldn't lie to me. I would always see right through him. So when he says the next words I thought my heart was going to rip out.

"She was hurt Ichigo."

I can't breath. "What?"

Pause. "…there was a break in, she was beat up pretty bad."

My eyes widen and for a few instances I only see white blanks in my eyes. I squeeze my eyes at the tingling of oncoming tears of anguish. I push them back and clutch at my hair, pulling it as if I had lost my mind. Maybe I had. Why was this happeneing? Why wasn't I there for her? Why her? Why me?

I crouch down on my haunches and rest my forehead on my knee, my hands still clutching my hair. I hear Grimmjow calling my name but I hardly heard him as I try to pull the thought away. The thought of her hurt. It was eating and sizzling my brain, killing me from the inside out. But it was already a memory, branded in my thoughts. forever to remain. This cruel information about a bleeding angel.

I clench my jaw tightly until my teeth ache. I wanted her here. I wanted her beside me so I could keep her safe. I wanted her to belong to me. I take deep breaths to calm myself. My body is deflated at the overload of emotions I felt. I stay in that position for a while and start noticing the numbness of my legs so I pull my face back. I had forgotten Grimmjow was here. He was sitting across in the same position as me, smoking and looking up at the sky in a placid expression. I was grateful that he hadn't left, grateful he still took the shit I gave him. Grateful that he was here. That's all I needed. I get up and he throws his bud away. We don't say anything as we resume our walk.

The sun was falling when we reached home. Senna's carriage stood out front and Grimmjow groans loudly. I let out breathy chuckle at him.

"I don't know why you hate her so much."

"Cause she's a bitch."

Yep, he had no qualms about telling me anything.

"I'm going to tell her."

He's quiet, taking another puff from his smoke. He knows what I'm talking about but I tell him anyway.

"I'm not going to marry her."

We had reached the stairs when I heard laughter coming from the side of the house. I was going to ignore it, nerves of the upcoming heartbreak leaving me anxious when I hear the mention of the Inn Rukia worked. Hanyou Inn.

"You shoulda seen it man. I almost got off just watching her beat the crap outta that whore."

"That's disgusting man."

"Naw, it was totally worth it."

"Don't tell me you hit her too."

"I did. A punch here and kick there. She was so scrawny I probably broke all her bones."

"So Senna still beat her even after you had your turn."

He lets out a guffaw of a laugh. "That's why it's so hilarious man, women are crazy-

I didn't realize I had moved until I had already punched the burly man to the ground. He looks up in surprise, his nose is broken and blood drip down his nose. My hands shake in unrepressed rage and my eyes bolt in red flashes. Blood. I want to see blood and lots of it.

"Up."

My voice is deadly calm. He wipes the blood from his chin, getting up. I don't give him a chance to talk or even twitch a finger before I'm on him again, punching and kicking and breaking and tearing. I have never lost control over myself. I have never put my entire strength in a fight, seeming unconventional and weak. But now, I didn't care. I didn't care how weak I looked, how stupid or irrational. I would kill this bastard. I would kill him. I couldn't see anything, didn't hear anything. My anger my only strength and my body my only weapon, but that's all I needed as I punched him to the ground, kicking him over and over again. Hearing the sickening sound of a crack or a loud groan there. I heard someone call my name from a distance but I hardly heard. This one had to die. Someone took ahold of my shoulder and I push them off, punching the shivering bitch on the ground. I almost smirk at the helplessness I see him in.

_Yes! I would kill him._

A pair of hands grab me from behind and pull me back. I yell at them to let me go. To let me kill him, almost begging.

"Ichigo calm down."

It's my dad and I almost feel like a kid again, getting into a fight with Grimmjow over a toy truck. I try to calm down as my dad hold me back, arms around my chest. I didn't notice I was trying to pull away from him and I stop. I breath in deeply, my blood still pumping. I needed to break something, kill someone. I look at the heavy carcass of the man and realize he's unconscious. Not dead. I can still see the rise and fall of his chest. He's beaten to a pulp and his clothes are red with his blood. My knuckles are raw from hitting his rough skin and wet both his blood and mine. I nod at my dad to let him know I've calmed down. He lets me go cautiously, but I don't make a move to return to the fight, instead I turn around and I feel the anger bubble up inside me all over again. Senna stands like a coward behind my father and Grimmjow. All their faces are shocked but it is only Senna who's as white as chalk. I take 4 strides to reach her. She shakes in fear but I can't find it in me to feel sorry for her. I grab her hand roughly, not taking my eyes off her. She flinches as if I'd hit her. I hadn't sunk that low yet. I pull my mother's ring from her finger. I can't believe something so pure had been in her possession for the past few month. She whimpers like a dog when I pull the jewel out. Her eyes rise to mine and a tear falls from her eyes. My features only show anger and I am doing everything to control the urge to kill her as well, no matter how many memories we shared, no matter how close we were. I wanted to kill her. _How could she?_

"I don't ever want to see you again," I say to her, it comes out husky, like a whisper. The words are rough against my throat like sandpaper. Talking doesn't seem enough, I want to beat her to a pulp, but I settle with letting my anger out through my mouth. The anger is laced in and I see her wince. "The weddings off…and one more thing."

I grab the collar of her dress and pull to me and look at her with condescending eyes. "If you ever, ever, come near Rukia again, I will personally come to kill you. You know I could do it. Don't fuck with me."

I push her away and take towards the house. The smell of blood was heavy on my senses and I'm not so sure a shower would calm my anger.

"Ichi…"

I freeze at the endearing tone in her voice, never before noticing how it grated on my nerves, like nails on a board. "Don't call me that." I turn to her, tears fall unperturbed from her eyes. A sliver of hope enters her eyes when she sees me hesitate. I shake my head at her slowly. "I have never seen you look uglier Senna."

I turn and go in, knowing that her pride would one day be the death of her.

* * *

><p>I explain my situation to my dad the next day. We sat in the kitchen, it felt like déjà vu when I recalled that he told me about his elopement with my mother a while back. He sits quietly and listens to everything I tell him, from the bookshop, to the prostitution, to the mental hospital. He had found out about Senna after I had gone inside last night. Grimmjow had filled him in after Senna had left with her beat up driver. My dad had taken them home. After I finish we sit in silence for a few moments. His arms are crossed over the table and his brows are furrowed in concentration. My palms are sweaty and my breathing is quick with anxiousness. If I could only tell him, show him, how much I loved her. Would things be different? It didn't matter how many men she had been with, it bothered me. Like hell, I wanted to track each and every one of those men down and break each and every bone in their body before cutting their tongue off and doing other bloody things to them. I had never felt this way about anyone, ever. She had a whole different category in my life. She was everything to me. Constantly on my mind, always in my thoughts. So much so, that I started to wonder what I had been like before meeting her? What had my life been without her? And I hoped with all my heart that my dad understands that.<p>

He got up from his chair suddenly, the noise awkward after the silence we had been in. he doesn't look at me then he turns and leaves the room. My heart drops.

_He doesn't understand_.

He didn't understand why I was in love with a prostitute. I put my head in my hands, my body deflating in agony. Why did this have to happen? I huff in a few breaths. What would I do? I would find a way, I couldn't go on without her. I would definitely make my dad see reason. But what if he didn't?… I'd have to figure something out. Suddenly the noise of a chair scrapping back breaks me from my reverie. It's my dad, he takes a deep breath and looks at me with a serious face.

"Now look Ichigo, if you want this girl, you gotta marry her. No beating around the bush ok. I'm getting old and I want to have grandchildren soon ."

My mouth stands agape, staring at him in awe. "Wha-"

"Ichigo, you look like a guppy. Close that mouth that you use for indecent things my son. Haven't I taught you any better?"

My eyebrows furrow in anger and confusion. "What are you talking about? You just left me here and-"

"Oh sorry, I needed to take a tinkle and I didn't want to disturb the cool atmosphere while you were talking so I waited it out. But seriously Ichigo, get a clue. Don't you know what a man looks like when he's got to go?"

"You stupid old goat man."

He bursts into tears and hugs himself. "Oh Misaki, our son has turned into a deliquent, a rebel of society, going into brothels and beating people up then calling his daddy names. Oh where did I go wrong?"

"Dad shutup," I huff in irritation and somewhat incredulous. "Your…really okay with this?"

He turns to his serious face like a flip of a coin, I almost get whiplash.

"Now raising a family is a big deal my unholy son-"

"-Don't call me that-"

"-it's a lot of work and commitment and giving birth is hard work-"

"-I'm not giving birth-"

"-and feeding and cleaning and changing diapers-"

"-What- wait, nobody is talking about a family here. I'm just telling you that I love her."

He smirks at me knowingly and at that moment I think he sees everything laid out in my future.

"You love her?"

I blush at the bluntness, hearing it is more embarrassing than I thought. Nonetheless, I nod. His smirk widens.

"She love you?"

I pull back in surprise. I had never thought of that. What if everything I was feeling wasn't reciprocated? What if she felt nothing for me? She had been with so many men before, who was I to her? But I didn't linger on the thought, I would get her to love me. No matter what it takes, she would be mine.

"I don't know."

His smirk grows even more. "Go make her."

* * *

><p><strong>(AN) I AMMMMMMM SOOOOOOORRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYY YYYYYYYY. I have been busy. University sucks balls and i wanna be done with it as soon as possible. screw education muahahaha jokes, i need that shit to write pornos XD**


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